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MissyMurphy

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This is a quote straight from my TOK book, I found it funny so I thought I'd share it . :yes:

ironically it's under the a section titled Truth-

" . . . during the Middle Ages, everyone thought they knew that there were seven 'planets' orbiting the earth. . . . They were wrong: we now know that there are nine planets orbiting the sun."

Well I guess their point is that truth changes over time? I think they've made it, don't you? :yes:

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so today we were in HL chem working on out third acid/bases test... as a gruop.. and not paying attention to the teacher. you also have to note that there is only 5 of us in this class... 4 girls one guy and the male teacher. well to get our attention the teacher goes "ok lets foucus" and the girl who had been asking the question goes... "sorry i was checking out freddy's body".

we all errupted in to laughter and the teacher couldn't stop smiling. and "freddy" went pink with a hugh smile....

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A few weeks ago in my IB French HL class, we were doing one of those silly exercises where we were supposed to respond orally to one of the questions in the book. The question was very simple: " Decrivez votre professeur idéal." or roughly translated: "Describe your idea of the perfect teacher."

One of the guys in the class who struggles a bit in our class thought it would be a good idea to suck up to our French teacher by describing her as his idea of the "perfect teacher." She was very flattered until the part where he said "Elle est très belle, intelligente, et elle aime les chattes."

He meant to say: "She is very beautiful, intelligent, and she likes cats." But he accidentally used the female form of the word "cats," which in French would mean: "She is very beautiful, intelligent, and she likes p***ies." It went right over the heads of most of the kids in our class, but the few of us who speak French pretty well, including our teacher, cracked up for the rest of the period!

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A few funny stories that were produced under the stress of IB English A1 HL oral commentaries:

Teacher: "Our first oral commentary will be a practice commentary on the Scarlet Letter. Don't worry, you'll only be required to talk for five minutes. On the real thing, you're going to have to talk for..."

New French-Speaking Belgian IB Student Who Just Moved to the U.S.: "Oh my god! Five minutes!!?? I can't even speak English for five minutes without a headache! Much less oral!"

My bf was doing his oral commentary last year on the Keats Poem "La Belle Dame Sans Merci." He was very nervous because it's a poem that has a lot of sexual references in it that are necessary to talk about in order to get a good score, but he had never met the IB 12th grade teacher who was grading his commentary before in his life. Needless to say, he felt pretty awkward and I guess he got nervous. He must have said the two lovers in the poem were "making love" about 3 times before he finally broke down and said (on the official tape that may be sent to another country for score moderation!) "Okay, so they were going at it..." :D He now has the teacher for IB Lit and Tok, and needless to say, he'll never be able to live it down!

Edited by Jessie0390
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Guest Snowball

During History class when we were going through how to write Internals:

J - Hey! I understand now why we can't have any pictures in the internal!

The whole class - Huh?

J ( with a stupid grin)- Yeah, since one picture says more than 1000 words it would mean that we would mess up the word count.

It's really bad when you think of but it was so typically IB that no one could resist keep themselves from laughing :)

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My bf was doing his oral commentary last year on the Keats Poem "La Belle Dame Sans Merci." He was very nervous because it's a poem that has a lot of sexual references in it that are necessary to talk about in order to get a good score, but he had never met the IB 12th grade teacher who was grading his commentary before in his life. Needless to say, he felt pretty awkward and I guess he got nervous. He must have said the two lovers in the poem were "making love" about 3 times before he finally broke down and said (on the official tape that may be sent to another country for score moderation!) "Okay, so they were going at it..." :) He now has the teacher for IB Lit and Tok, and needless to say, he'll never be able to live it down!

At least he didn't say they were ****ing or something :hug:

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We were sitting in English working through a poetry commentary when Tom bursts out:

"This is the most boring **** I've ever done in my LIFE."

and I said,

"You obviously haven't started reading Virginia Woolf yet..."

everyone forgot about that one until our teacher was laughing about it later and reminded us...hmm

Edited by Katie
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A few funny stories that were produced under the stress of IB English A1 HL oral commentaries:

Teacher: "Our first oral commentary will be a practice commentary on the Scarlet Letter. Don't worry, you'll only be required to talk for five minutes. On the real thing, you're going to have to talk for..."

New French-Speaking Belgian IB Student Who Just Moved to the U.S.: "Oh my god! Five minutes!!?? I can't even speak English for five minutes without a headache! Much less oral!"

My bf was doing his oral commentary last year on the Keats Poem "La Belle Dame Sans Merci." He was very nervous because it's a poem that has a lot of sexual references in it that are necessary to talk about in order to get a good score, but he had never met the IB 12th grade teacher who was grading his commentary before in his life. Needless to say, he felt pretty awkward and I guess he got nervous. He must have said the two lovers in the poem were "making love" about 3 times before he finally broke down and said (on the official tape that may be sent to another country for score moderation!) "Okay, so they were going at it..." :P He now has the teacher for IB Lit and Tok, and needless to say, he'll never be able to live it down!

haha...you have the best funny moments so far.. :P

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During explanation of photosynthesis in Bio after doing a practical

Teacher: The plant CATCHED the CHLOROFILE

May only be funny because I hate linguistic errors :/

After a test in Bio, a fellow student complaining about her marks for a question

Student: But what I said is right, it isn't wrong.

Teacher: It isn't wrong... it just isn't right enough.

Bio teacher justifying a practical involving insects.

Teacher: Kill in the name of science!

During a 5 min break from TOK class I was arguing with a girl about equality among humans. She was adamant that all humans are equal, I maintained that we are not. After the discussion we went back into class and I wanted the teacher's view.

Me: Teach, we've been arguing about equality. Please tell us, is everybody equal?

Teach (in a nonchalant, callous tone): No..... I'm sorry.....they're not

Discussing truth in TOK.

Me: Teach, how can blind people experience the truth of colour, they have no way of verifying it.

Teacher: Sorry Mike, blind people can't be part of the normal population's truth sphere.....

Me: Are you serious?

Teacher: Yes

Me: You've gotta be f***ing kidding me.

Teacher: Really, I'm not, blind people do not belong in a world of truth.

Discussing responsibility in TOK.

Teacher puts his car keys on the desk and asks whose responsibility it is if his car is stolen.

Me: Clearly it is your fault. If I take your car keys and steal your car, it is your fault. I would not have been able to steal your car if you had not left your keys there. Furthermore, if you had no car for me to steal, I obviously would not be able to steal it.

Teacher: What if I simply forgot that I left the keys there?

Me: It's still your fault, you made it possible for me to steal it.

Teacher: But YOU did the stealing.

Me: Sorry, your carelessness has no place in a world of responsibility, much like blind people have no business in truth :P

We are far behind in the Math SL syllabus, I advised our teacher to make us read ahead. After three weeks...

Me: Are we still reading ahead, so we catch up?

Teach: No, we stopped doing that, now we're reading backwards....

Me: Great...

Edited by blindpet
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IB: A day in history... class...

Gal1: Man, that whole Arian race thing is stupid.

Gal2: Yeah, I know. I mean, they must have been really stupid to have followed all of the things Hitler said.

Gal1: I know! For example, half the things he said were just: "hate the Jews!"

Gal3: Yeah, that's sad. Jews are the global scapegoat... They need someone to blame, and the Jews are a prime candidate.

Guy: I know! I mean, one of Hitlers best reasons for blaming the Jews were that they killed Jesus.

Gal1: I know!

Guy: And on top of that, Jesus was a Jew, what a retard!

The gals explode with laughter after a moment of slience: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Guy: What! Why are you guys laughing!

Gal4: You just called Jesus a RETARD! HAAAH! HAHAHAHAHA!

Guy: NO! I didn't mean that! I meant that the arians were retards, not Jesus!

It continues on like that for a long time... Then the gals paint the guys fingernails, but that is on another day...

Me: I formaly apologize for the use of retard in this. It is a derogatory term, and I do not believe that people who are mentally challenged can be compared with Hitler, or his ridiculous arian race in the least.

:P

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IB: A day in history... class...

It is a derogatory term, and I do not believe that people who are mentally challenged can be compared with Hitler, or his ridiculous arian race in the least.

Broxtreme, you need to change your structure there. I know you're not calling the Aryan race ridiculous... just because Hitler is associated with it ;P

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"I'm so hot my enzymes denaturate" - a friend of mine came up with it during Bio class :D

English teacher: So, what do you want?

Student: ... SEX!

My English teacher asked us what topic we wanted for some oral presentation, and my friend was going to say "sex in advertising", but it came out wrong and too loud... :D

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Guest neglectednuclei

these are two pick up lines i made in biology class with some friends

"I need you more than a eukaryotic cell needs a nucleus."

"Can I divide you like mitosis?"

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We were in Math class and we had a sub. Since we weren't doing anything, the sub decided to give us scrambled words of bands/artists and we had to scramble them.

Sub: Come on guys! These are so easy. My grade 8 class solved this in less than five minutes.

Student: Wow... Um... FIND THE DERIVATIVE!!!

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IB Chem class...

The teacher asks a really basic, almost rhetorical question, along the lines of, "Well, it's exothermic, so you know that the temperature has to what?"...a couple minutes of silence, followed by a voice from the back of the class answering, "...increase?"

Teacher: *blank stare* "Alright kids, I take it back. Teaching special-ed really IS rewarding."

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