Trivial discussion: how do you do an exam?

[Sandwich]

Do you take an exam? Do you do an exam? Do you sit an exam?

...or in the USA perhaps you write the exam? Thereby confusing the rest of the world into thinking that you are indeed the authentic author of the exam paper.

...or maybe you give the exam? I don't even know if this is a legitimate phrase or a common error, unless you're somehow the invigilator passing out the exam papers.

The thing is, whilst I sit in the exam, admittedly I don't sit on it. I also don't take it away. So god knows my words make no sense either.

So what do you do?

[Matsu]

I f*ck an exam in the butt hole

[Black Bird Lockheed]

I give an exam.

[Sandwich]

I give an exam.

I always think this is the weirdest one just because I've never heard it said by anybody British/US/Australian/Canadian/S.African/from anywhere where English is the first language, so to me it always just sounds like somebody hasn't learnt the right verb for it! I still secretly suspect that this is the case, but then it's so variable anyway that the whole thing just blows my mind

[Award Winning Boss]

I take deep breaths while clutching my bottle of water and pencil case as I walk into the room. I look at the clock then my seat and see my name on the desk. This is the moment I realise that this is for real... if exams were entertaining, it'd be a million dollar industry as people tune in from all over the world to watch teenagers open up their exam paper and swear under their breath after noticing they can't answer anything.

I pick up my pen after my allotted reading time and get ready to take the exam.

Or cry. It depends on how the paper is really.

[Black Bird Lockheed]

Well, generally I hear from my friends that " I gave my CET, SAT, AP exams etc". So in that point of view I am saying give exams."

[Charliepants]

I usually say "do" or "take".

In Norwegian it's called to "have" an exam in said subject, but I'm guessing you can't say that in English.

[Emmi]

In the US at least we say "I'm taking an exam" for the most part. When you've finished an exam you typically say "I just did/took/had my math exam. Some people say 'have' like "I have my biology exam on Tuesday." But I've never heard anything other than that, especially "giving," "writing" or "sitting" an exam. That's just weird and no one would say that