Essay thesis statement

[misstery_]

I'm writing up an essay for class where the title is "Why did a general European War break out in 1914?"

My thesis statement is as follows :

During the time prior to August 1914, a build up of tensions between the European power blocs eventually led to the outbreak of a total war. It can be argued that events such as the July Crisis, unrest in the Balkans as well as mobilization directly led to these already present tensions resulting in war. 

 

I'm really not sure if I've approached the question correctly  in terms of whether I should focus on the long-term or short-term causes so so any help would be great. 

[Tom Hiddleston]

You should focus on the long-term and the short-term causes equally as without the long-term cause, the conflict would start but quickly fizzle out; however, without the short-term, the long-term cause wouldn't have anything to ignite it into a conflict.

[misstery_]

"During the time prior to August 1914, a build up of tensions between the European power blocs due to a combination of both long-term and short-term causes eventually led to the outbreak of a total war. It can be argued that events such as the July Crisis, unrest in the Balkans as well as mobilization directly led to these already present tensions resulting in war."

 

Does that sound better?

[misstery_]

And would I dedicate the final paragraph to discussing long-term causes if I plan to focus the majority of the essay on the short-term?

[Blackcurrant]

Devote equal time and space to both. Unless you have a very good reason otherwise. Keep your essay balanced.