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Should women marry for love or money?


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Yah, money is an illusion of happiness, you will always want more. I mean, look at some celebrity's wives, they don't look happy. I think If women marry for money eventually they will break the relationship because there is no real friendship.

I think that's too much of a stereotype and a rationalization.

Honestly, with money comes pressure. Would you believe some celebrity who says he/she is marrying for love when the spouse is loaded? I think it would be suspicious to most people. Why? Plus societal expectations. You can't just have money and be happy. No, you've got to spend it, either because it's burning a hole in your pocket or because your reputation would be tarnished if you didn't.

Anyways, what I was going to say is that just because a woman [or man] marries for money does not mean there's nothing else there. Often there's a friendship. & Often there's a responsibility. Lyrox18 said

"The flavor of life is love." -Mariama Ba (So Long a Letter) <-- one of the books I enjoyed reading

The young Naboo [sp?] in the novella/story marries because of an obligation. No one's happy. But I know there's often other reasons than superficiality for marrying someone you don't love. The world isn't black & white. =)[PS I love SLaL too!]

Edit: I think I should add my answer to the question. I think that the expectations on both men and women for marriage need to be booted. And I think someone's already said this above, but I don't think I have any business saying someone should marry for love or for money. I don't know that person's circumstance. How can I make such a blanket statement? I say the person should fight against negative pressure. Take counsel, sure. But don't make one of the biggest decisions of your life if you don't want it. I can not like something and still want it. Why? Perhaps because someone else's happiness is more important than my own. However if I don't want something, and I don't think it's worth it, that's where the resentment that 2401 was talking about starts pouring in.

Edited by sweetnsimple786
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The obvious answer is love. I think even girls who don't truly believe in that statement will say it because choosing money makes them appear superficial and labelled by the term, "gold-digger". Obviously, again, no man wants to marry a woman who is after his money, but when we think about it conversely, no woman wants to marry a man with no money.

Look at the MTV series, 16 and Pregnant, followed by the sequel documentary series, "Teen Mom". These girls find their boyfriends who are the loves of their lives and to whom they lose their virginity and so on and so forth. During the pregnancy, many of these couples get engaged - even if it is just a ring from Wal-Mart. However, as the baby is born, the men are occupied with going to work and struggling to pay the bills to support their families. This puts added stress and lots of conflict between the moms who do everything at home and the dads who do everything to put food on the table. Both want help from the other, yet cannot find a compromise as both think that they are doing everything. Do they love each other? Yes. Do they have a lot of money? No. Does this change the nature of their relationship? YES. The two couples who were supposed to be getting married are now moved into their parents' houses, or living in a hotel, and arranged shared custody of their child.

This returns to the topic - women, by nature, should only want what's best, and what's best is a man who is financially stable and capable of supporting her. Is it wrong to marry for money? No. Is it wrong to marry SOLELY for money? Yes. Can love really exist without money? I think that is the better question.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I think you should definitely marry for love! Even if you might be happy with money coz u could then buy all the stuff you'd like to have, you'd never be really happy with the person you lived with and your heart would be kinda lonely. Also, you'd probably have to sleep with that person and maybe he'd even like to have children. Would you really do all this with a person you didn't "really" care for?

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ALthough, I have already given my opinion about this, it came to my mind, that there might be some women who really don't care about happiness as much as they would do about money. I think, a woman who lived all her life in a very hard condition inwhich she lacked the basic needs, when a chance comes to her hands, she will not let it escape, women like those would do anything to change the harsh lifestyle. Also, I have seen many women which have done this, but unfortunatly, the guy only married her because he needed something from her. HoweverI am not generalizing, because this could happen with love as well.

Another thing, if women marry for love ONLY, then there is a chance that the love she was feeling towards him may not be exchanged between the two, and the guy is just being a jerk and taking advantage of that blind love she's feeling, in which case the story is not going to have a happy ending! :angrymob:

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I reckon that love is a committment so if you are married for love then normally you will want to commit to eachother. but if you are married because of money then there most likely no love involved and therefore there is little committment in it.

everyone have their own idea about marriage because of love of with money, because ther no one in this world will have the same view of the world, they might have a similiar view but not exactly the same. but my own opinion is that i rather full in love and then get married to the person i love and that the person im going to marry actually loves me for who i am not what i am.

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Personally, I'd marry for love if I married at all. On the other hand I, and presumably everyone else on this forum, have the luxury of being well-educated and in a position of relative financial security. I don't think that women (or men, for that matter) who don't have our options should be vilified as "gold diggers" if marrying for money is their route to a better future. As long as both parties are happy, that's their business. If they're unhappy then, again, that's their business.

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Excuse me.... but is nobody horrified at the statistics and facts of how women are seen/treated at their workplace in our "advanced" world?

This is completely sexist and I do not tolerate it. Who cares what individual people marry for?! Some people will mary for love, other revenge, others because they're lonely, others to survive, maybe because they need a green card! This is not what matters in the information that was put on the post.. even though the question is "should women marry for love or money", this brings up a whole series of ethical and moral issues which no one even seems to be really discussing. I am simply enfuriated by the fact that the post states how women are mostly seen as the weaker sex and will be criticized of their decisions to be a career women or a housewife until who knows when. AAAAAAAAHHH, this really gets on my nerves. WOMEN- we are just as capable of studying, working and excelling in our lives and careers. You do not need to marry someone for money just because you are a woman- come on... Marrying for money has nothing to do with your sex. It has to do with personal circumstances and it can happen to both men and women.

Correct me if I am wrong, but there are no studies showing that males have more brain capacity than females.

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Excuse me.... but is nobody horrified at the statistics and facts of how women are seen/treated at their workplace in our "advanced" world?

This is completely sexist and I do not tolerate it. Who cares what individual people marry for?! Some people will mary for love, other revenge, others because they're lonely, others to survive, maybe because they need a green card! This is not what matters in the information that was put on the post.. even though the question is "should women marry for love or money", this brings up a whole series of ethical and moral issues which no one even seems to be really discussing. I am simply enfuriated by the fact that the post states how women are mostly seen as the weaker sex and will be criticized of their decisions to be a career women or a housewife until who knows when. AAAAAAAAHHH, this really gets on my nerves. WOMEN- we are just as capable of studying, working and excelling in our lives and careers. You do not need to marry someone for money just because you are a woman- come on... Marrying for money has nothing to do with your sex. It has to do with personal circumstances and it can happen to both men and women.

Correct me if I am wrong, but there are no studies showing that males have more brain capacity than females.

I feel like you're attacking me and yelling at me. On the one hand, I'm glad you're worked up. It's how change comes about. On the other hand, why are you saying

AAAAAAAAHHH, this really gets on my nerves. WOMEN- we are just as capable of studying, working and excelling in our lives and careers. You do not need to marry someone for money just because you are a woman- come on... Marrying for money has nothing to do with your sex.

Why do you think women marry for money? Why do you think anyone marries just for money? I don't know for sure, but I assume that the reason is often because the person feels forced by society. Other times, it's probably convenience. When you attack me, I'm just confounded. You say that you're infuriated by the blatant sexism, but you're putting me down. You assumed that I feel the need to marry for money because I am a woman. You assume that you need to convince me, although you don't know me, that I'm wrong. It seems that if it were up to you, you'd take away my choice of marrying for money if I so chose to.

Guess what? I'm a big girl. I can make my own decisions. I get that you're mad that so many women are treated unfairly. I want to defend them too. However, I know I have no right. What if marrying for money meant that I could save a brother? I would willingly give up my cherished independence and future for my brother's life.

I might have given you the impression that, among other things, I lack ambition and that I give a bad name for women everywhere. Without boasting and without disclosing details I don't want to publish to the world, I will say that I'm competitive. I want to go into a male dominated field and not only survive but thrive. I want to prove myself, but I also know that I don't want to do it for the wrong reason. Whatever I do is for ME, not for some sexist idiot.

I've probably also made you mad. But please try to be more conscious of when you use the word "you." I make this mistake too, but I'm trying to be careful. When you say 'you' to mean a universal 'you,' it might not come out that way. When you said 'you' in your post, you were preaching. You were looking down on me.

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Excuse me.... but is nobody horrified at the statistics and facts of how women are seen/treated at their workplace in our "advanced" world?

This is completely sexist and I do not tolerate it. Who cares what individual people marry for?! Some people will mary for love, other revenge, others because they're lonely, others to survive, maybe because they need a green card! This is not what matters in the information that was put on the post.. even though the question is "should women marry for love or money", this brings up a whole series of ethical and moral issues which no one even seems to be really discussing. I am simply enfuriated by the fact that the post states how women are mostly seen as the weaker sex and will be criticized of their decisions to be a career women or a housewife until who knows when. AAAAAAAAHHH, this really gets on my nerves. WOMEN- we are just as capable of studying, working and excelling in our lives and careers. You do not need to marry someone for money just because you are a woman- come on... Marrying for money has nothing to do with your sex. It has to do with personal circumstances and it can happen to both men and women.

Correct me if I am wrong, but there are no studies showing that males have more brain capacity than females.

I feel like you're attacking me and yelling at me. On the one hand, I'm glad you're worked up. It's how change comes about. On the other hand, why are you saying

AAAAAAAAHHH, this really gets on my nerves. WOMEN- we are just as capable of studying, working and excelling in our lives and careers. You do not need to marry someone for money just because you are a woman- come on... Marrying for money has nothing to do with your sex.

Why do you think women marry for money? Why do you think anyone marries just for money? I don't know for sure, but I assume that the reason is often because the person feels forced by society. Other times, it's probably convenience. When you attack me, I'm just confounded. You say that you're infuriated by the blatant sexism, but you're putting me down. You assumed that I feel the need to marry for money because I am a woman. You assume that you need to convince me, although you don't know me, that I'm wrong. It seems that if it were up to you, you'd take away my choice of marrying for money if I so chose to.

Guess what? I'm a big girl. I can make my own decisions. I get that you're mad that so many women are treated unfairly. I want to defend them too. However, I know I have no right. What if marrying for money meant that I could save a brother? I would willingly give up my cherished independence and future for my brother's life.

I might have given you the impression that, among other things, I lack ambition and that I give a bad name for women everywhere. Without boasting and without disclosing details I don't want to publish to the world, I will say that I'm competitive. I want to go into a male dominated field and not only survive but thrive. I want to prove myself, but I also know that I don't want to do it for the wrong reason. Whatever I do is for ME, not for some sexist idiot.

I've probably also made you mad. But please try to be more conscious of when you use the word "you." I make this mistake too, but I'm trying to be careful. When you say 'you' to mean a universal 'you,' it might not come out that way. When you said 'you' in your post, you were preaching. You were looking down on me.

Hello Sweetnsimple,

Forgive my post if you feel that it was meant directly for you! Not at all!!! Do not take it the wrong way. I was pretty worked up because as I read posts I saw people were fine with having read the statitics about women being underlooked at in their jobs, and I just read my post again haha yes it does sound a little crazy. But I clearly stated that people marry for different reasons and by saying "who cares what people marry for" I precisely mean that all of those issues are personal and there are a million reasons for marriages to occurr whether its money etc, and I have nothing against you or people who have married for money. What I am against is people treating women as inferiors.

I'm glad to know you plan on thriving and succeeding and I wish you the best, in your career and personal life, and am hopeful tha you will set a good example for other women who want to go up against a male dominated field of work!

Best Wishes.

Joa

Now that I'm on the subject anyways...I think I reacted that way (my first post) because I live surrounded by "machistas" or a patriarchal culture. In my society, most men are unfaithful cheaters who treat women like inferior beings- and I mean it. I actually don't belive in marriage =( as sad as it may sound. Would anybody like to enlighten me with their good thoughts of marriage and how it can actually work? I'm pretty sad. I have also failed in my only relationship that I actually really loved the person, he betrayed me and lied to me many times until I was fed up and decided life would be better without "love". So yes, my experiences have come to show me that marriages/relationships eventually fail, and I would really like to meet decent cultured people who think otherwise and who aren't cheating idiots.

And I should be doing my TOK essay which I need to turn in tommorrow hahah but this subject is a lot more interesting. I want IB to be over!!!

Edited by sweetnsimple786
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Well, I think the value of marriage has decreased in modern society, but marriage is often when someone finds a personality they value in the other, finds them attractive, ect. and thinks about the special person. If one side of that relationship is missing, like some high school relationships, then the happiness and joy isn't found so easily, like when there is an abusive boy or girl. Contained in the personality of a person is a want to love, and although some can disguise it and eventually hide it so they almost don't feel it, it will always be there in the inner workings of their self. I think once those standards are met, that a relationship can progress and become marriage when the time and place is right. There are some men in your society who are not "unfaithful cheaters that treat women like inferior beings," and I think as those that act like cheaters grow older they will understand the value of marriage.

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I'm so confused by what I see. Divorce is... good. It's good that there's a backup. But I feel like people are shirking away from what it means to commit. better/worse, richer/poorer, sickness/health, til death do us part. Where does divorce come into that? I'm just so confused. What does it mean to say 'Sorry, I made a mistake. This marriage is a mistake." It really depends on how religious you are, and I get that, but on a different level, what does it say about us as a society that marriages can be trivialized? Maybe it says that we're finally thinking more openly. Maybe this is better. But it means that the institution of marriage has changed completely. Without that commitment, it can be completely absurd. Or it can be intensely meaningful. And what about those who just don't believe in marriage, who don't see a need for marriage. How are our views of children out of wedlock changing? Our views of mothers out of wedlock? I have to say that I'm completely fine with the children. I don't pity them and I don't resent them. I feel that they are normal. About mothers, though, I still have some level of prejudice that I'm ridding myself of slowly.

Back to you.. I'm not quite sure why I started talking about divorce. Cheating idiots=everywhere. I'm really sorry that those around you have caused you to lose faith. I can't imagine the pain and resentment that would cause. I think that you definitely need equality in a marriage. People say love and trust and open communication are number one. Forget that. I think that for both sides to be on equal standing is the most important thing. It's the hardest thing, too. It means that each person needs self-confidence. It also means that each person needs to respect the other. Find equality and you'll go far. And this might not get you the partner of your dreams, but it'll allow you to grow up and adapt to change that can potentially ruin everything. People say you don't get to choose your family, but you do get to choose your friends. I'm sorry, but if I don't respect my peers, there's nothing there. And the good thing is that it's really easy to respect people. Most people are genuinely nice, I've found. If I'm realistic about my expectations, I'm not disappointed very often.

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  • 4 months later...

I find people in general who marry for money quite disgusting. It's like marrying for status or even for looks...If you think about it though, it's ironic that people do it for their kids when it's actually harsh on them.

Kids who grow up with rich parents who they never see and who spend hours without end busy fighting instead of spending quality time together and enjoying it ends up having a negative effect on the kids themselves. I've seen it in friends. It's impossible to spend 30 years (or more) living with someone you don't even love. If you marry someone and they end up rich, that's lucky, it's cool, but marrying someone you don't like, just for money...It doesn't make sense to me.

I'd choose being in an average family who loves being together and seeing each other any day over parents who clearly don't love each other..

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  • 4 weeks later...

In a perfect world, women would not marry for money, but love. But, we do not live in a perfect world, therefore there are women who mix into both categories, those who marry for love and those who marry purely for a man's money. However, women do not deserve all the hatred over marrying a man for his money, because, there are some men out there who marry women for their money, and don't agree to a divorce, just to get their hands on some of their wifes finances.

Should women marry for love? Yes, but how can anyone be sure, bar the individual themselves, if the women is marrying for the love or for the money?

Should women marry for money? No, but there are many people out there who do, and shame on them. It is morally wrong to do this kind of thing.

(Definitely something I should bring up in TOK class)

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  • 1 month later...

My mother always told me that she chose my dad because he always listened to her "order" to help their business. If ages ago, it was the women listen to the men, today, it is totally contrastttttt

What a difference =]]!!!! ( and I told her that I don't believe her =]])

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You should marry for money as all the time people marry for "love" which quickly fades into habit and dependence in the best scenario, or resentment in the worst. These outcomes are EQUALLY likely if the two do not love each other at the start. Love fades but the money is still there.

But either way I'm ****ed. IMO, women's top priority should be geeky asian males who resent being in IB.

Edit: I think people are under the wrong impression. Just because someone's rich doesn't mean they are an inherently unlikeable person.

Edited by Grumps
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