Did you ever have this feeling when somebody really meaningful leave you or pass away?

[dessskris]

I am sure that you have somebody who is very meaningful to you, such as family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. Did it ever happen that the special person leave you (i.e. pass away, move to another country)? How did you feel? How would you cheer yourselves up?

I have this figure whom I look up to. We have no blood relationship and I have known her for only 1.5 years, but I really love her and I treat her as my own 'mother'. She understands me and she sometimes buys me stuffs, unexpectedly. She has always supported me in my academic study and she has always helped me to succeed. Nobody could replace her position. I really really like her the way she is and I like her children -- they are so cute!

I have just heard that she is about to leave. I was so shocked. I cried reading the letter which told me about her leave. She has got to move to Perth with her children because her husband is working in an oil factory in Perth and they could not take it anymore, leaving separatedly. She has got some other reasons to leave too, which are not stated in the letter. I really burst into tears. I don't know what my life would be without her. I think I would really struggle until I finish IB if she is not with me . I'll say my good bye with a very heavy heart. She is leaving in early January 2011. I still couldn't believe that she is going to leave. I am still down now I can't calm down. I'd wish her the best of luck in the next stage of her life.

I am starting to cry again writing this... So I guess I better stop writing and it's you guys' turn to share. It might be a family member, a friend, an ex, whoever. Any story to share, people?

[Sandwich]

I had that sort of experience, I suppose, with one of my nannies who looked after my brother and I from age 10 to 14 or so. It's a pretty big deal between those ages, in my opinion, because it's a period of life where you're very dependent on other people still and I absolutely adored our nanny. She was like my mum and best friend all in one I've been looked after by quite a few people who behave either as one or the other, but she was somehow both and quite honestly to this day the nicest, most decent, funny and lovely person I've ever met. If I could be like her, I think I'd have done pretty well for myself in life.

Unfortunately she had some health issues which meant she could no longer work for us and she moved away to another part of the country. I was absolutely and utterly gutted. When you view somebody as your mum I think you completely forget they have a job and are paid to behave in that capacity. You assume it's a bit like your actual mum -- when love seems unconditional, you expect it to be always there, no matter what. I was very upset for a few days and missed her quite acutely for weeks afterwards but of course we got another nanny and the world moved on, as it does. Now I suppose I just feel privileged to have had such a wonderful and understanding person in my life. People we admire, respect and love are people we try to emulate and so they're the people who make us who we are -- by being who we aspire to be. I still admire and love her hugely, even though she's no longer around, and with time I suppose I appreciate what she did for us more and more.

So what I would say is that you have every right to and probably will feel sad and upset, but equally -- and I suppose with time -- you should also grow to feel proud and privileged that somebody like that appeared in your life and subsequently strive to live up to that. Appreciate, rather than feel sad about, the impact they've made on your life, and use it to inform your own behaviour.

[Nooth]

I lost my three year old sister to cancer just two weeks ago. There's no words that could possibly decribe how I feel. But loosing someone whom you love dearly is never easy.

[Mahuta ♥]

I lost my three year old sister to cancer just two weeks ago. There's no words that could possibly decribe how I feel. But loosing someone whom you love dearly is never easy.

I have delayed my post so long because I have nothing to say to you..but I am so sorry for your loss. I know a close one who is going through the same thing..so I sort of know what you're going through. I am so sorry..

Too many..

My biology teacher..the one that taught me 4 years. He made me love biology..he just had it in him. He makes you so passionate about the subject..you never think of hating it. He always made his students feel so easy about asking him questions. He answered all our questions with extra information no matter how tight our time was. When he didn't know an answer to something..he would tell you I have no idea..then come the next day with the answer. He was..brilliant and so caring. He taught us biology HL in IB1..and he managed to finish the whole syllabus apart from 1 chapter and 1 option. He taught the rest extremely well and right now..anything he has ever taught me..I remember very well. He left at the end of IB1..and that may seem so normal..but he wasn't a normal teacher! His wife taught us chemistry in IGCSE and chem HL in IB1, she was excellent as well..and gave us the basics we needed for chem. Having them both leave at once just made it seem like everything is just not right. I cried so much over them..I know this sounds so dramatic..but it's not, not when it's about teachers who just made Biology and Chemistry wonderful subjects and made you feel so confident about anything in those subjects. The kind of teachers that never stopped pushing you to get better and better.

It took me such a long time to get over the fact that they're gone. I gave my new biology teacher such a hard time..since I kept opposing to everything she said..."well Mr. S didn't tell us that.." "He didn't show it to us that way". Apparently she has been told how much he meant to me..which made her a lot more patient with me and never told me off or got angry at me for doing that.

Deaths? I got so tired of those..

1) I lost my uncle in airplane crash in 2003..he was a pilot. I still deny it sometimes..since we got no body and he was a man with great sense of humor, he was so nice..and caring and every good character I can think of..

2) My grandfather died last year..he was diabetic..and he died after he has been cut and chopped 4 times in his right leg..and once in his left one. He was the first grandparent to leave me. I have lived all my life outside my country..so I only saw him in the summer holidays, yet he meant a lot to us..and it was so heart-breaking that when I finally started living here..he passed away after spending most of the summer holiday in clinic and hospitals.

3) 3 months ago..my other grandfather passed away. Now they both mean the world to me..but this one was so special because he played a big role in all our lives. He was the type of grandfather that would not stop buying you stuff and giving you money when you're around him. He was the type of grandfather that is so worried about the kids he would not stay calm if one of them isn't home. He was the type that told off every adult that makes a kid cry..no matter who that adult is. He was the most wise man I have ever seen in my life. He always made us laugh, yet he wasn't very talkative..which made every word that came out of his mouth..that of great meaning. We never ever got bored of sitting with him..even when he entered his 90s. He was always the first we called in occasions..the first one we would ask about when we came for holidays. When I started living in Tunisia..he would call the whole time or tell my aunt to call me in front of him to make sure I am alright..not hungry..have enough money..and feeling good. He is the type of man that would come running to you if he even sensed you're not alright. (note that I lived 400km away from him). He was a very successful man in his life..he was one of the survivors of the french colonization fighter. He raised 10 kids to high levels without making them hate him..or think of him as a strict guy, Now...I am refusing to accept that he's gone..seriously. I don't even want to think about it..because the thought of going to my grandparent's house and not finding him there or not getting phone calls every 30 minutes asking where I am..when im travelling..just makes me feel so empty. Especially that now..both my grandfather's are gone.

4) My favorite teacher ever..passed away last august of Leukemia. I still cry every time I think of him. He was a great father, friend and teacher. He always made me feel special..and that I am one of his best students. I found myself with him..he made me trust myself in so many things. He was the one I look forward to when I went back to my family. But now..he's gone...like gone gone.

Those are the close close ones.

Now..I became so paranoid. I am so afraid that my two grandmothers' will pass away soon..just the thought of it makes me want to cry so hard. I have always thought that I am going to be strong in situations like that..but I recently figured out..that I am extremely weak when it comes to death.

How I got over my uncles, my grandfathers and favorite teacher ever?

Well...I didn't.

[Access Denied]

I am the eldest of 6 kids and my father died of cancer, we had two days knowing it was terminal when they said we had 2 years. My mum has become an alcoholic as a result.....

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, time doesn't heal the pain just makes it easier to hold the smile

good luck everyone with coping with your losses

[Drake Glau]

I'm sorry to hear about all these difficulties people have in the middle of a rather tough time for most of us. Never fun to be kicked while down and already stressed from school =/

Only hardship I've had (knock on wood?) was my father cheating, packing, and leaving 1 month before I started IB1. Haven't seen him since then and I rarely get anything more than a monthly (if I'm lucky) e-mail so it's almost the same as him dying to me. Been difficult watching my mother go through the divorce and everything while trying to take care of 2 kids on her own with extremely little income (he made the money...). Since then the bond between me and my mother has grown exponentially however but as a result anytime she gets into a depressed state so do I

Really hate talking to some people now in my IB class because they talk about their "perfect" family or whatever and then how hard IB is on top of it and just don't seem to understand that IB is sometimes the least of a person's worries.

[Andyboi]

Yes. My dog Missy. She left me about 2 years ago on my niece's birthday. I was away from her at the time. Since my parents got divorced I always wondered what would happen to Missy. Turns out my dad didn't want to take care of her because she was aging and she stayed with my mother the whole time. And since she was so old she couldn't really control her bowels, but she couldn't help it, it wasn't her fault but because of her accidents she had to live outside. And when she started living outside in the backyard I sort of just forgot about her, I continued on with my life and I never remember once going out to see her and then that day she was put down, it was my dad's weekend. I was watching TV at my dads condo and he comes out and tells me that she was really sick and my mom had to put her down because she could barely move and she was having seizures. I was so heartbroken, I immediately ran out of the room to call my mother. She was as hysterical as I was and kept telling me she was "so sorry that she had to do it and that she didn't want me to see her in the state she was in". It was the saddest day of my life and I still can't prevent myself from tearing up when I hear her name. I'm crying right now while writing this.

On a positive note, this incident helped me with my realtionship with my mom, I felt like we were the only two who were actually sad about my dog's death, we were the only ones crying.

It feels good to share this :')