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Need someone to help me translate something English --> Mandarin

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Ok Mandarin speakers, I need a huge huge huge favour. Would one of you be willing to help me translate something from English to Mandarin? It's a short letter (1 A4 page English typed at the most, probably not even that) and I'll need it before 1/3. I'll give you the English version (should be done tomorrow at the latest) and all you have to do is translate and type it in Mandarin for me in a Word document.

If you could help me I'd really appreciate it. :P Thanks. :o

Spoiler - Click me!
I have a back up plan if no one responds to this but I'd rather not use it :o

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No way!!! lol

I hate that thing with a passion! This is a proper letter that I'm actually going to send away so I kind of want it to be translated so that it makes some remote kind of sense in the end. :P And if the Chinese->English google translator is any indication, I do not want to use the English-->Chinese one. :o

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Yes, that is indeed a last resort. Google translators are really shiit. I know that their French and Spanish ones are appalling.

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