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How to tell my parents that i did bad?


butters

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I was predicted around 38 points, but ended up getting only 32. My parents expected a lot from me, but i didnt meet their expectations and they will be very dissapointed.

Im planning to tell my mom soon, but ill try to lie to my father and tell him i got something like 35, then pretend to be very dissapointed (so that he might console me and say everything will be ok)

The main problem is that they think of me as their bright child and expect the most from me. I always do well, but i got lazy and didnt study to much since my Uni in canada only wanted 30, and i got that.

What should i do?

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I think you should just tell them. I mean, yes they might get sort of disappointed, but I think they'll be more focused on the fact that you got the grades you need for your Uni :)

You definitively shouldn't lie to your dad. He'll just find out eventually.

Edited by miamonique
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I was predicted around 38 points, but ended up getting only 32. My parents expected a lot from me, but i didnt meet their expectations and they will be very dissapointed.

Im planning to tell my mom soon, but ill try to lie to my father and tell him i got something like 35, then pretend to be very dissapointed (so that he might console me and say everything will be ok)

The main problem is that they think of me as their bright child and expect the most from me. I always do well, but i got lazy and didnt study to much since my Uni in canada only wanted 30, and i got that.

What should i do?

I think this is a hard one for anyone to answer except yourself :console:, but I'll give it a shot. Truth be told what I would do is just say it to them, but that's me and my cultural and societal norms. Lying to me would never be an option, because that just prolongs the problem and I know I couldn't hide the truth and I would feel bad if my father then went around telling his friends false information about my diploma. I understand your point of view and the expectations that parents can put on their children, because I have seen it in a lot of my friends and people I have known through my years in different international schools and now the diploma programme. I have been lucky enough to not have to fear any expectations too much, because I have done well enough for my parents to accept what I do and achieve. I think that's what your parents will eventually do as well even if they don't do it immediately :)

Edited by ocfx
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hmmm, if I were you... I guess I would cry?

cry as loud as possible in your room till your parents hear you and ask what happen. then, tell them about your sad scores. I bet your parents would try to console you instead of being angry at you.

PS. I feel sorry :(

:console:

Edited by Desy Glau
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If you dad finds out that you lied to him he will just be more annoyed. Just tell both your parents at the same time and that you're sorry that things didn't turn out how you wanted them to. I know it's hard but it will take a load off your shoulders if you do. You won't have to worry so much. Your parents may be more sympathetic than you think. To reassure them a bit more, tell them that you can still get into your uni. :D

And congrats on your acceptance to uni. XD

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thanks for the help guys. Im really lucky to be going to a uni in Canada and not the UK, since they arent that strict with final marks.

This is my plan:

Ill tell them its coming out in 2 weeks. Then prepare them for something low, keeping mind that a pass would allow me to keep my offer since im applying to Canada and not the UK, then build it up for them and finally tell them

Telling my mom and lying to my dad would be to risky, so i might go with the idea above.

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I can see that your from Pakistan, and asian parents do too often tend to wrongly expect too much from their children.

If I were in your position I would tell them about the results, but say that I could do better. Then I would say that since I got more than enough for the university I want to go to in Canada I'm glad after all and I also got the diploma. I also would tell them that the main purpose of getting specific IB grades is to get into the universities you want to get into, and you've done that, and that is really all that matters.

Also, tell them that judging someones intelligence and academic potential merely from a collection of numbers is ridiculous and stupid. The result of two years of learning cannot be expressed by grades. You know who you are. :)

BTW, I forgot to congratulate you on getting your Diploma and getting a great score!

Edited by chrypton
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I had to do it with my parents for my IGCSE results. I was predicted 5 A's and 3 A*'s and only got 4 A's, an A* and 3 B's. They were absolutely crushed at first but they could see I was genuinely gutted so they didn't harp on it too much because they knew I'd be more driven to do better in my IB exams.

Not great this first year. Predicted a 41 and only got a 27. No idea how I did so badly. Hopefully I can do better in IB2.

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If I were in your position I would tell them about the results, but say that I could do better. Then I would say that since I got more than enough for the university I want to go to in Canada I'm glad after all and I also got the diploma. I also would tell them that the main purpose of getting specific IB grades is to get into the universities you want to get into, and you've done that, and that is really all that matters.

Also, tell them that judging someones intelligence and academic potential merely from a collection of numbers is ridiculous and stupid. The result of two years of learning cannot be expressed by grades. You know who you are. :)

BTW, I forgot to congratulate you on getting your Diploma and getting a great score!

I think there's nothing worse than getting a 'bad' score and telling your parents that you could have "done better". With exams you always should try your best. You get out of it what your put in. So to say you could have "done better" had you 'tried a bit harder' and had done this and that at the time is more of a slap in the face for your parents. Its another way of saying 'I didn't really give a damn' about both the exams and about what your parents think.

So I would tell them that you tried your best. There's nothing wrong with 'underachieving' when you put in 100% effort. At least they have the comfort of knowing that their child cares about their education equally as they do. So if I were you I wouldn't go into listing all the 'justifications' of why you recieved such a score; none of the "[exams] are ridiculous and stupid"...there's no need.

If they are not happy with a very commendable 32 and the knowledge that their child tried their best, then they are at fault. If I was a father, nothing would make me more proud than knowing that my child put in the time and effort for their own future. Tell them now.

If you didn't put any effort in, I don't think you deserve anyone's sympathy. Instead, you should be happy that you didn't have to work as hard as some of your peers.

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