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Is it good or bad to be an Introvert?

So looking at this topic do you think us intellectual IB folk are inherently introverts?  

81 members have voted

  1. 1. Are you an Introvert or Extrovert?

    • Introvert
      39
    • Somewhere in betweeen
      39
    • Extrovert
      3
  2. 2. Now do you think its good to be an introvert?

    • Yeah, I am what I am.
      28
    • I think I need to get out there more!
      24
    • You're missing life dude!
      5


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Guest KAPOWW!!

Well there's two ways of looking at it:

Being an Introvert:

Pros:

You enjoy your own company

You have time to spend with yourself, ergo you understand yourself more deeply.(Not as easy and insignificant as it sounds)

Cons:

You miss out on socializing, social life, possibly relationships(hmm..)

You prefer to avoid parties since that involves meeting other people(I know there are arguments, that Introverts have a lot to say when they get started, but prefer keeping to themselves)

You can critique these points, but these are off the top of my head, so don't pay much heed. Their real purpose, though, is to give you a background about the topic. The topic titles and description are the questions.

*Drum Roll* Leeeettt the Debate begiinnnn!!! biggrin.gif(Y)

Edited by The Guardian of Asgard

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There are pros, and there are cons. Just like there are pros and cons for being an extrovert. It's just that it seems to be "bad" because many people tend to assume that introverts are "loners" or "very shy" on first impression, and therefore assume that these introverts will face difficulties in communicating with others in society. Also, extroverts are more outspoken than introverts, which make them appear to have more complex emotions and thoughts than introverts, but I think that it's the other way around. Introverts seem to be much more observant of other people and their surroundings too.

Personally, I believe that the extrovert-introvert personalities are part of a spectrum. You've got the extreme introverts, and the extreme extroverts, and then you've got the people in between, which is where most people would probably be I reckon. So, the pros and cons of being an introvert vary for every individual.

Anyway, just my thoughts. I'm definitely more of an introvert than I am an extrovert. :)

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I wonder if most IBS users are introverts. I know I am. Sometimes I would like to be more extroverted. I don't like large social groups as I tend not to speak a lot but in smaller groups of about 4 I'm talkative. I think that extroverts tend to have more quantitative relationships whereas introverts have more qualitative relationships. That's just the impression I get, I know as an introvert I associate with extroverts cause they tend to have good networks which helps you get information or find a job etc.

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It depends, mostly, on the extent. Extremely extroverted people are - in my experience - dependent on constant social interactions for their self-esteem. They're less emotionally stable and possibly poorer at problem-solving and other intellectual skills that require no social sense. Extremely introverted people, on the other hand, are just awkward and often incapable of forming meaningful relationships, especially with people they haven't known for a long time.

It's pretty easy to change your personality in this respect, though. Awkward? Go out more, meet people, take risks. Can't be alone? Be alone more. Write, read, do something that requires you to think independently.

Most of life is really about finding some sort of a balance.

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I'm an introvert by nature, but being in the kind of family like mine is, being an introvert to the extreme that I can take it is...inadvisable.

I've learnt to be more of an extrovert, to come closer to the middle of the spectrum like Desy mentioned. I can dominate discussions and what-not but that was after intensive 'training' of sorts. When you're Dad is a diplomat, you need to be a talker.

Anyway, as an introvert, I tend to reflect more on things and I spend huge amounts of time writing and reading and just generally being on my own. I don't dislike company, but I would inevitably avoid it if I could in favour of curling up with a nice cup of tea and a good book. I do avoid parties and such, clubbing is the bane of my existence but that's more because I hate the settings (sweating, gyrating bodies abound and loud music that deafens you, not my idea of ideal), but I do enjoy intimate gatherings and even house parties (I will perpetually be found at the balconies).

But I was taught early on, or more like impressed upon, the importance of networking and social skills and 'friends in the right places' and all that jazz. So I do try (doesn't mean that I succeed though).

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like Desy mentioned.

but I didn't say anything...

to not go off topic, I think everything has positive and negative sides. being an introvert is good to a certain extent, but being an extrovert is not so much better than being an introvert either.

I'd say I'm somewhere in the middle but more towards the introvert side. I think introverts are usually more intelligent than extroverts...but maybe it's just a coincident and I do know smart people who have many friends, so yeah.

but there was this really intelligent alumnus from my school, she was like the best of the best students but she was very shy and very introverted. she's actually very nice but doesn't like to socialise. sad.

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Introvert

pros:

-Usually a better listener

-doesn't annoy you by babbling 24/7 (met some extroverts like that)

-respect the silence

cons:

-No socialising (like Kapoww said)

-People may consider you as less friendly

-Might get stepped on their feet since they don't impose themselves enough

-Might sometimes be too shy to ask questions when needed => so don't understand some things

i probably could find more cons if I tried… too lazy though ;)

somes cons for extroverts: (i just have to add this)

-Can be a bit to much over the top

-have a lot of friends but have superficial relationships like blind pet said

-might miss out on studying time for a party

-…

can't think of anything more, but I'm sure something will come to me ^^

Edited by DianeD
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I think there are certain qualities about introverts that make some people like them, while there are also other qualities that make people dislike them. I agree with what razzker said, that there is a spectrum involved. I personally believe that too much or too little of anything isn't good, so as a result, I personally aren't too fond of the extreme introverts of extroverts. Does it make them bad people? Not necessarily. Is it bad? Maybe. Personally, I would say I'm more towards the introverted side.

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I guess it does depend on the extent. A lot of us here are introverts... I think. But there is a difference between socially accepted introverts and like really really extreme introverts. ^What he said, too much of everything isn't a good thing, but if you are one of those socially accepted people, it doesn't really matter. I'm an introvert myself too.

Being an introvert most likely does not mean someone is good or bad, because there are so many qualities that are also attributed into the person's life besides their introverted-ness. So, it also depends on the person's personality and other variables as well.

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I qualify as an introvert in the real world, but in my opinion due to the recent advances in social networking and other forms of online communication, I think I end up socializing and have just as many friends as extroverts. This may be online, but I don't think that that disqualifies it, because I value my online friends just as much as my real friends. I think in the future introverts and extroverts are going to start overlapping a lot more.

Edited by Hexa

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From what we had in class, an INTROVERT isn't exactly a person who doesn't like to be around people.

I consider myself an INTROVERT, but I'm sociable, I like being around people. It's fun, It's just that, after each time socializing with people, these people need time for themselves to recharge, to stay with themselves.

whereas, EXTROVERTS do not need much time to recharge. They can go on for days and days without the time for recharging.

This is also how most psychological tests do it. That is how they define it.

This may classify you differently now.

Haha. Think again.

:D

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Guest KAPOWW!!

Wow, this discussion picked up fast! 12 replies or so. Well I have French tomorrow so I only read a few replies.

I can agree with the conclusion that the balance is the best place to be.

But here's a though for each group:

Introverts:

Do you think you're missing out on, living life, making memorable moments with friends-while you choose to sit huddled in a corner?

Extroverts:

You have watched movies and know how the high school studs end up driving taxis... so today, if you are aware of this, do you find yourself capable of drawing line between climbing the social ladder and securing a good future?

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well, I personally don't believe in the existence of true friends. as in friends that want to be your friends just the way you are, will not talk about you in the back, will always be nice to you, will never stab you... I do not believe they exist. so I treat my 'friends' just like people that are around me and will 'have to' or 'be forced' to interact with me just because we're stuck in the same school or because we live near each other.

I sometimes wonder why I rarely hang out with them. but as I reflect upon this, I find that these people are my 'friends' just because we're in the same class. if not, I don't think we would ever talk to each other. the truth is that in my current school I couldn't find someone with whom I share my interests. noone likes what I like/enjoy, and as a result, when we talk, I rarely talk about my interests and I listen more often to their stories and sometimes pretend to be interested. anyway after we all graduate I don't think I'll still talk to them. maybe a few of them yes, but only a few. it's sad. the truth. really sad. and I don't think you extroverts will ever see this aspect in life and never realise your 'friends'' hypocrisy.

memorable moments don't always have to be good, happy moments with friends. anyway they could be moments at school, so I'm not really missing out. I find moments with my family and my achievements more memorable. as in, achievements when I do something I like and create something I love. if I were to choose between sleeping and hanging out with a friend, I'd rather sleep.

it doesn't mean I don't interact with anyone though. I do talk to my classmates etc but I do not share stories or secrets too much. I never see the point. unless it's with my bf, whom I can trust (exactly one of the reasons we dated) and be open with. I actually talk a lot with some 'friends' (hence I consider myself to be somewhere in the middle although leaning towards the introverted side) but I do not talk much about myself, I'd talk about other things, usually school stuff or things happening around. we can still laugh and have fun together etc but I personally wouldn't consider them as my real friends, because I don't believe they exist.

should there be any extrovert reading this, let me tell you. your best friends, or the people whom you think are your best friends, have ever hated you at a point in your friendship, have ever talked to people about bad things about you and have ever shared some of your secrets with other people. it, is the truth. and you have to realise this.

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Guest KAPOWW!!

well, I personally don't believe in the existence of true friends. as in friends that want to be your friends just the way you are, will not talk about you in the back, will always be nice to you, will never stab you... I do not believe they exist. so I treat my 'friends' just like people that are around me and will 'have to' or 'be forced' to interact with me just because we're stuck in the same school or because we live near each other.

I sometimes wonder why I rarely hang out with them. but as I reflect upon this, I find that these people are my 'friends' just because we're in the same class. if not, I don't think we would ever talk to each other. the truth is that in my current school I couldn't find someone with whom I share my interests. noone likes what I like/enjoy, and as a result, when we talk, I rarely talk about my interests and I listen more often to their stories and sometimes pretend to be interested. anyway after we all graduate I don't think I'll still talk to them. maybe a few of them yes, but only a few. it's sad. the truth. really sad. and I don't think you extroverts will ever see this aspect in life and never realise your 'friends'' hypocrisy.

memorable moments don't always have to be good, happy moments with friends. anyway they could be moments at school, so I'm not really missing out. I find moments with my family and my achievements more memorable. as in, achievements when I do something I like and create something I love. if I were to choose between sleeping and hanging out with a friend, I'd rather sleep.

it doesn't mean I don't interact with anyone though. I do talk to my classmates etc but I do not share stories or secrets too much. I never see the point. unless it's with my bf, whom I can trust (exactly one of the reasons we dated) and be open with. I actually talk a lot with some 'friends' (hence I consider myself to be somewhere in the middle although leaning towards the introverted side) but I do not talk much about myself, I'd talk about other things, usually school stuff or things happening around. we can still laugh and have fun together etc but I personally wouldn't consider them as my real friends, because I don't believe they exist.

should there be any extrovert reading this, let me tell you. your best friends, or the people whom you think are your best friends, have ever hated you at a point in your friendship, have ever talked to people about bad things about you and have ever shared some of your secrets with other people. it, is the truth. and you have to realise this.

Personally I have found that balance being spoke of here, But what you wrote interests me lot. I think you need to try to trust them and get to know them better, besides for the bitches they are, I know this can be tough, I hated my classmates thought they were flippant, but now that I look back upon those days I feel like an outsider look at bimbos...but all the same bimbo's making memories, laughing together et al. I wish I had participated more back then and gotten of my high horse, so I could forge something worth recounting to my grand-kids when I'm old and so I can live without regrets, trying doesn't hurt does it?

But I don't want to be telling you how to run your life, this is the view I follow in my, I thought it worth sharing :)

PS- There are real friends, me and my best friend are like inseparable and we truly look out for each other and all that, you need to look for these people no doubt but they are there...

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i prefer being an introvert because i get to be alone and am able to think. There are the cons though that people think you're too proud or too cool to talk to them. Also, you don't get to have friends and enjoy the fun that comes with that. I don't socialize at all but people just seem to come and talk to me and we end up being friends (strangely). Being alone is better, because if you have friends, you can't tell the good from the bad, like who would back stab you or just use you because you're smart in a specific subject or smart in general. I guess that's the cons of being an extrovert and the pros would be you can ask for help and have someone to talk to etc. But then again, i used to have a friend that wanted to act like me, like behave like me which was extremely annoying to me.

I don't socialize a lot in my school and the reason being is because people always use me. My mom is a teacher at the school i go to and being a teacher's daughter, i'm supposedly have to know the whole schedule of the school and that's one of the reasons people talk to me and become my friends. That's a really weird and silly reason but that's how people are i guess. This is why i prefer being an introvert but i try hard to be an extrovert so that it seems like i belong.

And i agree with Desy, there is no 'true friend' maybe friends in general but not 'true' friends.

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From what we had in class, an INTROVERT isn't exactly a person who doesn't like to be around people.

I consider myself an INTROVERT, but I'm sociable, I like being around people. It's fun, It's just that, after each time socializing with people, these people need time for themselves to recharge, to stay with themselves.

whereas, EXTROVERTS do not need much time to recharge. They can go on for days and days without the time for recharging.

This is also how most psychological tests do it. That is how they define it.

This may classify you differently now.

Haha. Think again.

:D

That's is how I classify what is an introvert, and what is an extrovert as well. :D Introverts are not necessarily more shy; some of the most sociable people you know may be introverts – they just need time after their socializing to recharge and collect their thoughts. They run on the power of their "alone time." On the other hand, extroverts have to recharge on time with other people, meaning they can only be alone for a length of time before searching for people to talk to.

Which is why I don't think there's a clear answer for this:

Introverts:

Do you think you're missing out on, living life, making memorable moments with friends-while you choose to sit huddled in a corner?

because not all introverts are sitting huddled in a corner. I'm very clearly an introvert, but I have my own group of friends, I have my boyfriend, I get an adrenaline rush off of presenting to large groups of audiences, and I am a master at trading gossip :P Certainly there are times where I write in my journal by myself, but when that's done, I go off and have fun with others.

well, I personally don't believe in the existence of true friends. as in friends that want to be your friends just the way you are, will not talk about you in the back, will always be nice to you, will never stab you... I do not believe they exist. so I treat my 'friends' just like people that are around me and will 'have to' or 'be forced' to interact with me just because we're stuck in the same school or because we live near each other.

This reply in particular interests me because I disagree so much with your definition of "true friends." I don't think true friends should always be nice to you, nor should they always like me for the way they are. I fight with my friends a lot. I disagree with their opinions, I admit that I dislike some of their qualities, and we bitch out at each other when emotions build up and we just need to let each other have the honest truth. However, when that's done, and all our differences are laid bare, we are still friends not because we like each other for who we are, but we like each other in spite of what we are. And that although friends always have faults, we're always running back to them (sometimes out of our way) because we find them interesting and we want to share our lives with them.

I feel like you're almost limiting yourself from finding a "true friend" because you don't believe they exist – maybe true friends aren't as ideal as you imagine them to be. They don't have to be ideal to stick through thick and thin with you.

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Wow, this discussion picked up fast! 12 replies or so. Well I have French tomorrow so I only read a few replies.

I can agree with the conclusion that the balance is the best place to be.

But here's a though for each group:

Introverts:

Do you think you're missing out on, living life, making memorable moments with friends-while you choose to sit huddled in a corner?

Extroverts:

You have watched movies and know how the high school studs end up driving taxis... so today, if you are aware of this, do you find yourself capable of drawing line between climbing the social ladder and securing a good future?

Haha.

For both, I think we're trying to stereotype things more than expose the good things about being each.

People are different, so they like different things. So, climbing the social ladder or securing a good future? Both of those can be achieved by Introverts and Extroverts. It's possible to climb the social ladder even if you're an introvert!

Haha. So, yea. :) Generally, I'm No to the 1st Question and 2nd Question, it's more of priorities, so, a good balance, as you said is needed!

There you go! :D

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I agree with the "sliding scale". From my experiance there are very few people on either extreme and most people generally lean just a little one way or another.

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I think I'm a balance of both, but most of the time I'm an extrovert. I tend to like extroverted people more (that sounds really bad but I don't know what better way to word it). I think it's just because some introverted people just seem so quiet that I can't tell what they're thinking, if they're always mad or sad, or if they secretly hate me. Sometimes to me, extroverted people just seem so much friendlier because of their willingness to socialize with anyone. I lived in America for 15 years and I've been here in Asia about 2 years and there is a big difference in the personalities of the students here. I felt more welcome in my school in America at times. The classes were always loud and teachers had to tell everyone to quiet down every single class. And I actually miss that. I talked to everyone because everyone was just so talkative and I felt more comfortable in that environment. I knew everyone's names, I was either friends or acquaintances with everyone I came in contact with (our school had 1,800+ students). We were even friends with teachers - I used to go to Starbucks with my English teacher and other friends and talk. Now in Asia, it's the complete opposite, and I really do not like it. Everyone here seems to be an introvert. Classes are so quiet. I can't tell what anyone is thinking and I just feel this tension with everyone. There are so many students in my grade that I've never seen before (even though apparently they've been at the school longer than I have) and students I've always seen but never heard speak. Ever. It's really weird to me. I'm an introvert around my family, I'm guessing due to some family issues in the past, and I've been criticized because of it. My uncle claims that he thinks I hate being around him, when all I am is just being shy and not willing to talk as much around family.

But, there are definitely some things I don't like about extroverts/being an extrovert. Sometimes other extroverts intimidate me. Lots of people have actually told me (after really getting to know me as a person) that because I was so loud in class, they were afraid of me. I bet I annoy a lot of people with how much I talk sometimes, too. And being too extroverted is not that great. I have a few friends who are always socializing and always talking. Except they don't know when to stop, or how to control their mouths, and they end up being hated by most people.

To answer one of the questions, I don't think being an extrovert means that you have to fail at academics. I have to admit that I'm definitely not the smartest person at my school, and definitely not close to being as smart as everyone on IB survival. But it's not always because I'm socializing or putting my social life before my academic life. I like a balance, definitely. But I know so many people who have great social lives and are taking the IB diploma and they're doing so much better than me. Honestly, I'm a bit scared of people who are always at home studying and barely have any fun. Life is not just about academics. Maybe you'll get into a good university, but later on in life, no one's going to care about your grades. Most jobs require you to work with others, and if you can't do that, you're doomed. You don't have to be a genius or stay at home 24/7 studying to be successful in life. But most of the time, you need to be able to work with people to be successful.

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