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How to Procrastinate Succesfully

Have you achieved procrastination limbo?  

20 members have voted

  1. 1. Well, have you?

    • Yes
    • NOooo
    • uhh sort of
    • wtf does limbo mean
    • im leaving this thread it is stupid
    • I'll get back to you later
    • My religous belifs do not allow me to answer this question.
    • stop giving me these stupid answer choices

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1. Create a list of everything you must get done. 2. Tear up the list you made and chuck it into the trash. Or if you cannot be bothered to do even that, just let it fall wherever you happen to be. You can always pick it up to put in the trash later.

3. Do not be hard on yourself when it comes to approaching deadlines. Why stress over deadlines anyway? Why not just reset them all for a later date? Why not establish deadlines for all your tasks at a set time well beyond your life expectancy? That way you will always know that it will be a long time before you ever need to get started on anything.

4. Do not buy a planner. It is a waste of money you could have otherwise spent on a cookie or some candy bars. If you happen have a planner in your possession at the moment, find a match and light it aflame, or demolish it beyond recognition in any other way you see fit. After all if you have a planner, you may succumb to temptation and use it for its intended purpose. That will definitely not help your cause.

5. Reward yourself for not getting things done. Spent a couple hours without doing absolutely anything productive at all? You deserve a break. You may spend the next day watching movies or whatever you usually do during your free time.

6. Have paperwork you need to get done? Set it all aflame. Now it is all gone. You can tell the people who manage your deadlines that your work perished in a fire. After all, it did happen. However, they will suspect that there is something out of the ordinary after the tenth time your papers spontaneously combust.

7. Blame your sibling. Don’t have one? Blame your pet. Your fish had always been conspiring against you anyway. No one will ever question how it managed to set your work on fire. If you don’t have a pet either, plead temporary insanity and blame your alternate personality.

8. Unfortunately, you really should not get yourself expelled from your job. You would not have any work to procrastinate on then which would defeat the purpose of this how-to.

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