Overcoming depression

[ecieee]

I've been struggling to fight depression for about 4 years now and I just don't know how to get out of it. It's really weighing down on me and I feel like it consumes me from inside out. I don't know why I'm feeling so unworthy of myself at the first place so I can't fix it. It's like an endless cycle of hating myself then wanting to just sleep forever and not get out of bed. I hate going out and I hate waking up every morning only to realise that it's going to be another dull day. I also find no joy in going to school or studying so it's really hard for me to keep up with IB stuff (although I'm nearly finished with it). I try really hard to do well at school so that I can free myself to go anywhere after I graduate, hoping that escaping from where I live and what I'm used to will make me feel better.

My parents don't believe in "depression" and just think that I have a really bad attitude.They were brought up in an Asian society where mental disorder and psychological troubles are not accepted at all so it's really difficult for me to even talk about being 'down' to them. They treat me as if I'm seeking attention by trying to pity myself. I don't want to seek psychological counselling from psychologists because first, my parents will think I'm a psycho who will become a serial killer, and second, they won't even let me anyway.

Is there any way to get out of feeling hopelessly alone or unworthy of living? Would going to university overseas, or even just graduating high school make me feel better? Just to clarify, I have no intention of harming myself or doing wrong things. I am grateful that I am alive, although in a twisted way.

[Peanut Butter Jelly]

It gets better.

Edited September 25, 2011 by Atheist

[ayeyoubby]

I see myself in that position sometime.

I loathe waking up and knowing that the whole day is going to be wasted and it's not going to be what it use to be... back when I was happy. I really didn't find a point in life anymore, I lacked friends support because I hid it well, until I started to breaking down everyday, so I started to make up silly excuses to cover for it.

I think that the first thing that you should do is to find a good friend to talk to, next talk to the school counselor, and in between those time find something that you truly enjoy and have a passion for (mine is singing and helping others out, which I do often through volunteering and such), so that you can keep your mind off of the things that you are depressed about.

Remember, it's a lot easier to be happy. Don't waste another 4 years of life.

[dessskris]

the only way to get over it is by stopping thinking about it. if you keep thinking about it, then you can never get over it.

motivate yourself.

watch this video here, I think it would help -->

[kiwi.at.heart]

Can you get any support from a school counselor or something. Seriously, its a lot easier to fight this with help than by yourself, and lets face it, if you could fight this yourself you wouldn't still be suffering. If you can get help through school, your parents don't necessarily have to know through patient confidentiality unless you tell them them yourself, and it may really help. A counselor would be able help by giving you strategies to help cope and just make life generally better. If its not for you, there is nothing to keep you going there but you should investigate what your school can do and what help you can get without getting your parents involved.

[The Filipino Limner]

Well, maybe I could relate the most to you, since I'm also Asian, and my parents really demand a lot from me, just like yours.

At times, I also feel depressed, annoyed at the situation I'm in, but then, I always find myself being happier by doing things I like and I enjoy. When I feel bad about the things I'm not able to achieve, or pressure from my parents, I'd always eat chocolate. Chocolate is scientifically proven to make people happy. It releases sort of a chemical in your body making you feel happy. Yea, that's for one.

Other times, I stroll in my village. I just let go of the problems, and just enjoy the scenery.

Pressure is everywhere, I know, I feel it too, but you can always find your way out of it!

You can do it!

If you need anything else, just leave me a message!

I'd be happy to talk to you!

[Peanut Butter Jelly]

I don't think it's healthy to cope with depression by eating.

[Guest KAPOWW!!]

I've been struggling to fight depression for about 4 years now and I just don't know how to get out of it. It's really weighing down on me and I feel like it consumes me from inside out. I don't know why I'm feeling so unworthy of myself at the first place so I can't fix it. It's like an endless cycle of hating myself then wanting to just sleep forever and not get out of bed. I hate going out and I hate waking up every morning only to realise that it's going to be another dull day. I also find no joy in going to school or studying so it's really hard for me to keep up with IB stuff (although I'm nearly finished with it). I try really hard to do well at school so that I can free myself to go anywhere after I graduate, hoping that escaping from where I live and what I'm used to will make me feel better.

My parents don't believe in "depression" and just think that I have a really bad attitude.They were brought up in an Asian society where mental disorder and psychological troubles are not accepted at all so it's really difficult for me to even talk about being 'down' to them. They treat me as if I'm seeking attention by trying to pity myself. I don't want to seek psychological counselling from psychologists because first, my parents will think I'm a psycho who will become a serial killer, and second, they won't even let me anyway.

Is there any way to get out of feeling hopelessly alone or unworthy of living? Would going to university overseas, or even just graduating high school make me feel better? Just to clarify, I have no intention of harming myself or doing wrong things. I am grateful that I am alive, although in a twisted way.

You poor thing, why don't you watch some Doreamon, Auch I can't even spell it But seriosly do things you like. We all know what's its like to have orthodox parents. Tell them what you're telling us, convince them that psychological stuff exists and is proved, and most importantly to do this for you, so even if nothing turns out to be wrong, you get your peace of mind!

Or else, find something you can withdraw into when you're sad, I author my website when I'm sad. Find conditions you like to help you out of your depression. Personally I like cool, dark, silent and deserted places, like an old mall or fair, but a terrace works fine.(PS try to avoid deserted malls, I can only pull that off cause I'm big, but avoid em)

Then finding the source of your unhappiness. Well this is easy, when you have peace, think of things your avoid thinking about, these make you unhappy, now find ways to defeat these thoughts or discuss what went wrong and at the end of discussing it in your head(No, i'm not insane) reach a conclusion and have no regrets about it. Regrets are the devil, I tell you!

[Lero]

Find a hobby, or if you have one already, stick to it. There has to be something you enjoy doing.

[Bartosz jez]

Worthless advices... Just go to the psychiatrist and receive some meds.

As I did.

[Sandwich]

Well, for sure finishing the IB will make you feel so much better. Lack of sleep, worrying about deadlines and making grades (especially towards the end, for me) and having no free time that wasn't already spoken for made me feel absolutely miserable back when I was doing it. I don't know that it was depression but basically things compounded every day to stamp my mood down into the ground! Being limited by something like the IB is okay for some people, but I found it very hard work because more or less none of it was enjoyable -- and the activities I had which really cheered me up I couldn't do thanks to the general undercurrent of deadlines and bull**** e.g. CAS which meant I spent my weekends and evenings volunteering or trying to finish things. More or less everything which was making me miserable disappeared when I finished!

What I would say is that I suspect different things work for different people. For instance, just getting more sleep over the course of a week made me feel a lot better. Having a purpose to what you're doing or some kind of team effort is also a great way to boost your mood. Joining a sports team is what I did, as then you're working for and with other people and have training etc. to break up your week - and it's not mindless CAS style gym-going but training for a reason. It gives you a sense of purpose and also fulfilment. Team stuff does it, but if you're not that sort of person also personal projects or hobbies with a goal at the end, like trying to write something, draw something, paint something, whatever.

Also, finding things you enjoy in the world which reliably cheer you up big time. I love being outside and I genuinely believe in the mood-lifting powers of exercise, so for me being able to go for a run or a bike ride in the woods, by the sea, wherever is a reliable way to make myself really happy. If I hated exercise, maybe photography or something, I dunno, just to get outdoors. Especially when you're feeling mentally less motivated, doing something physical and getting out into the fresh air is honestly like a drug. For me at least It's also the absolute opposite of sitting inside drowning in self-pity. Try a roulette of different activities and you'll find things you'd never tried which you love - even just mundane stuff like cooking (I surprised myself by finding this one enjoyable) can turn out to be something that gives you a kick when weird experimental food turns out to be tasty.

And yes. Talk to somebody! A problem shared is a problem halved for definite.

Life events like going to Uni have their own stresses etc. that you just have to learn coping mechanisms for. The IB is hard to deal with (I found) because it doesn't allow you enough free time outside of the IB to employ said coping mechanisms so you can end up feeling like selecting it was sort-of like ****ting in your own bed. Basically circumstances will change and make things easier or harder for your throughout life, but you are going to remain constant - so find out what it is that makes you de-stress or feel purposeful and good about yourself and pursue it as much as possible. For me, if it makes you feel any better, I've found it a thousand times easier to do this at Uni than I did at school Unless you go to some tiny University or seclude yourself, there are so many clubs and activities to join in with and help you find new hobbies, friends etc. that it's almost like people are guiding you through it - but predicting happiness for the future does not bring happiness now, so don't just wait until Uni because I promise you there are ways to cheer yourself up already.

[Bartosz jez]

@Sandwich, if he does have the depression, nothing is enjoyable at all. The best advice though is to get as much sunshine everyday as possible - it boosts mood well.

[lollero]

It really helps if you just get to talk to someone about how you feel. I mean, I really didn't want to go to a psychiatrist myself at first but after gathering courage for 4 years I finally did, and although it doesn't magically make everything better its really nice to be able to explain everything who doesn't just give such magnificent advice as "stop being so negative about everything and get some friends" (seriously, amazing how many times I've been told that) but actually even kind of gets why you feel how you feel.

And btw, I find it astounding how so many people don't get that depression is not just because you have a wrong attitude. How is it so hard to understand? Especially since almost all other mental disorders are taken seriously but then if you're depressed no one really seems to care that much.

[dessskris]

none of the advice is helpful for me personally.

the best thing to do (for me personally) is just to sleep right after you get home and forget everything... rant for a while, then just get over it. don't keep thinking about how dull your life is!! if you do, you can never stop. say you've talked to your best friend. but if you still feel upset about your life, nothing will change! STOP thinking about it. just sleep... leave the reality for a while. don't do your homework for two days. yes let your teacher be angry at you but who cares! relax and chill...

it starts from you. so it must end with you yourself. if you keep feeling that way, that feeling will take over control and make your life miserable. YOU HAVE TO take over the control, control that feeling and kill it. noone else can do it. only you yourself can do it. doing other things you like will only wear you out or cut your sleeping time. talking to a 'wrong' friend who can't help you out is worthless. cry if you feel like it. cry. but after that, stop. realise that you are strong, and can be strong until the end. kill that feeling inside you. make sure it's gone. and, just move on.

I know, not easy. but, if it you don't try to change the situation, nobody can ever do.

[tixi.13 <3]

hey,

i also have suffered from depression (done the cutting etc.) and i too have Asian parents. they did feel that they were excuses and it was hard to talk to them about my problems as they didn't really believe that i wasn't making myself miserable.

i moved from sydney to melbourne and my feelings changed, but didn't really get any better. i found myself trying to 'distract' myself from the problems hat existed.

when i moved back to Sydney, there was a very drastic change. i think this change was sort of like a mental jolt and it really helped me get my life back on track. keeping busy was also helpful. keeping active boosts endorphins and also keeps your mind busy. i found that when i began to exercise more, i had less time to dwell on things, and gradually the hurt inside began to dissappear.

i really hope you find tourself again, because I've changed i realise how heavy i felt.

try music and singing. self-expression is important. and remember: happy 'summer holiday' songs rub off on you! try and create a drastic 'positive' change in your life! (maybe a new pet or something?)