Share your priceless IB quotes!

[ibkid]

Chem Teacher- (***MORNING CLASS***)

"So, what do you think causes sunburns on your skin?"........Awkward pause....One student in the front row is sleeping, teacher throws his whiteboard pen on his head. "So, ________, what do you think causes sunburns on your skin?".."The...Sun?"

[Guest]

Tell me if this sounds familiar, you walk up to you friends, in class, the library, or wherever you hang out, and you see them in a circle working on an assignment. The dialogue goes:

Friend: "Hey, did you finish this last night?"

You: "We had homework last night?"

Friends: "Yeah!"

You: "#$%@"

[Ashika]

Okay there's something in Probability where there's like A and A'

My math teacher wrote that on the board:

Me: OH. MY. GOD. THERE'S CALCULUS IN PROBABLITY!??!?!

[A_Mai]

"[iB] classes are the same as academic."

- IB Co-ordinator/ Under-payed IB French Teacher

[IB James]

My favorite quote was when all the seniors told me that

"IB is way easier than AP"

at this point I wish to go back and kick them.

[Amuh]

IB exam Rules

Don't forget to make connections to all the other subjects in every one of your exams and to cite every single book related to the answers or you will lose points for every source not cited.

[Guest RocketGirl]

Not really a quote.. but you probably all know that you pretty much have to automatically explain that "tok" means theory of knowledge. NOBODY seems to know it...

ah ToK.... we affectionately refer to it as theory of krap....

[Flamewave]

I don't know if anybody has posted these before, but here they are:

“YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

~ Gandalf on IB

“Abandon all hope ye who enter here”

~ Dante on IB

“It's a trap!”

~ Admiral Ackbar on IB

“Dammit! There's NO TIME!”

~ Jack Bauer on IB

“I would commit suicide to get out of this, but I don't have the f#$@ing time”

~ A random IB student

“I wonder if that pretty girl would pay attention to me if I solve this calculus problem in front of the whole class?”

~ Desperate IB student

“That project was due today?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

~ A typical IB student

“Do we have an essay in TOK again?...damn!”

~ Another typical IB student

“"IB therfore i BS"”

~ Oscar Wilde

“Well IB damned”

~ Yet another IB student

“If a picture is worth a 1000 words, I wonder if 4 pictures would be enough to desribe my essay”

~ Student doing last-minute Extended Essay

“ Damn, Looks like we all copied off the same kid ”

~ IB student wondering why his Chem homework is the same as all his class mates

“ When it comes to CAS, IB-S. ”

~ Average IB student.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/IB

Edited April 22, 2008 by Flamewave

[Guest bethabetta]

Not really a funny quote, but it's become quite famous at my school. Closing in on the IB exams, my IB coordinator was heard saying:

"I feel as if I'm letting my flock of doves free ... straight into the slaughterhouse."

[Guest Nanners]

Tell me if this sounds familiar, you walk up to you friends, in class, the library, or wherever you hang out, and you see them in a circle working on an assignment. The dialogue goes:

Friend: "Hey, did you finish this last night?"

You: "We had homework last night?"

Friends: "Yeah!"

You: "#$%@"

I do that almost every day!

[youcantstopthebeat]

I was in Chem HL class the other day when one of my friends, who was looking at the periodic table, suddenly said:

"Carbon is so a metal, what the hell is it doing over there?"

My biology teacher is also famous for her spelling mistakes. For example, on the mark sheets she printed out for out prac reports, she wrote BIOLOOGY on the top.

[Guest julipuli91]

I think this is just funny because Nicholas Alchin, according to my TOK teacher is the god of TOK. So she let us take his book home to write the TOK essays.

One girl couldnt find her copy, so she stood in the middle of the room and said:

"WHERE'S MY ALCHIIIIIIN????!!!!"

hehehe

[Rina]

This could be one of those 'you-kinda-have-to-be-there' moments, but it was absolutely hilarious at that time

Student (talking about her holiday in french): ... J'ai un bon temp (which literally means "I had a good time"- but apparently there's no such phrase in french)

Teacher: Non non non...! You can't have a good time in french!

[deedoz]

heey

"you are IB students!!" this is what all our teachers say whenever we ask for anything or complain for the load of work!!

they think just because we are IB student that means we are not humans!!

[elt]

Not really a quote... But as part of our organic chemistry my chemistry teacher decided that we should crack some petrol and collect pentane.

At the end of the lesson, everyone had some sort of clear liquid which my chemistry teacher put on a watch glass.

He then attempted to light the pentane with a match, and after several unsuccessful tries, waves his hand over the watch glass to say "This is experimental fail-" at that point he takes his hand away from the watch glass yelling in pain.

The pentane was burning.

Might not seem funny now, but it was as funny as hell during the lesson.

[homeroom]

This is what my friend came up with for our Facebook group for IB at our school:

WE HAVE NO LIVES.

The IB has recently assigned new extra-credit assignments. The following is a list of optional work, each worth an extra 1 (one) IB credit.

- Divide by zero

- Revive the dodo bird

- Conquer the world, twice

- Make your own underwater city

- Disprove the Big Bang Theory, and God

- Build a time machine

- Solve the Middle East Issue*

*Massive Group Hug Mandatory

"The International Baccalaureate, also known as "taking it up the ass", is a graduating course for those students who, in their previous lives, have done horrible things, such as being a martyr, participating in bear hunts, being a commie, or having unprotected sex with animals."

~Unknown

"“The IB is the smartest thing a stupid person can do… It is also the stupidest thing a smart person can do. Sort of like riding a beaver.”

~Oscar Wilde

[Guest evaluat_ion]

In my chemistry class, one of my friends asked: miss, what exactly is a loctane?

and the chemistry teacher is so frustrated that she said: sorry, i have never heard of anything like that, let me see it.

My friend gave her the book, and it read: methylOCTANE.

And the same person, this time revising, asked: what exactly is a lamine?(he read it aloud, sounds like LA-MAIN.)

And immediately I know he is talking about methylAMINE.

[MarianaHP]

"I don't need sex.... Ib F*cks me every day!"

[Rob]

my favourite one so far (and theres plenty of time to go for me becuase im dec 10) was one i came up with (and shouted quite loudly in class the other day by accident) was "THEY TOOK THE CAS OUT OF MY CALCULATOR BUT WONT TAKE IT OUT OF MY CURRICULUM!"

[JourneyTo]

heey

"you are IB students!!" this is what all our teachers say whenever we ask for anything or complain for the load of work!!

they think just because we are IB student that means we are not humans!!

Something similar happened in chemistry today: we were all complaining about the homework he gave us and how difficult it was and he turned to us, wide-eyed, and exclaimed in his impressionable voice: "What'd you expect? It's IB."

Needless to say,we all replied in outrage.