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how to become more respected at school?

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I mean I sometimes feel at school that no one really respects me. I have friends and all but I am still not that popular. sometimes when I talk people just ignore what I said. I feel like the butt of a lot of peoples jokes.  Whenever there is a party all of my friends are invited except for me and I kind of feel left out. does anyone have tips to grow more confident?

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or maybe try to find out why they do it. ask them? do you have a problem with me ? why are you ignoring me? maybe this will open up their eyes about how they treated you

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I understand how you feel, I used to feel the same. You just have to remember that not everyone has to like you and that's okay. Just NEVER change simply so that someone would like to spend time with you, you have to be yourself. And that's basically the trick.

 

You should probably consider the fact that when you think someone laughs at or makes mean jokes about you, you might be slightly exaggerating. I mean, I used to feel like everyone was making fun of me and that everyone thought I'm the weirdo of the school but I grew more confident and it changed. I kind of realized that most of the time, people just simply don't care. It's sad but true unfortunately...

 

You should maybe try talking to more people that have similar interests to yours and remember that no matter what anyone else thinks you're awesome in your own special way. :blowkiss:  I'm 100% sure you're going to find amazing friends, it's just a matter of time!!!

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Not everybody will like you, trust me, you will come across many people who despise you because your personality may clash with theirs.

 

Please, never, ever let them change you for this - it will come easier with time as you know for certain who you are. It's easy to be faltered but just remember that finding the best you, is more important than the opinions of a few people at your school who you may never see again after high school.

 

I can see that you have let these people's opinions affect you in such a way to cause some amount of inner turmoil and over thinking, resulting in you coming onto IB survival for help. 

 

I suggest you to not focus TOO much on your classmates, focus on studying hard and achieving your goals. This way you can work on gaining self-worth and self-respect, which is the most important thing before you ask for respect from anyone else. How can anyone else respect you if you don't respect yourself, right? And when you do, your own self-respect will be enough to stop you from wasting time wondering one some people don't respect you.

 

Maybe don't confront them in that way, from my own experience, they will probably mock you more. Unless they are genuinely nice people who make mistakes and can reflect on their actions, they will not show much remorse as they seem like quite disrespectful people tbh  :dontgetit:

 

This is from my own experience: exhausting personality changes, self-pity and hours wasted pondering why someone does not like me. When I began to respect myself and putting myself out there, people liked me more. 

 

Good luck  :blowkiss:  :blowkiss:  :blowkiss:

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well I do have an issue I also deal with. one time this guy hit me. it didnt hurt but I still feel mad every time I think of it. I want to let it go but I cant help getting mad about it, does anyone have any tips to let it go or get over it

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I used to be bullied in elementary school all the time, then in high school I was the weirdo freshman year; frankly, I started getting respected a lot afterwards. I'm now a senior, getting invited to different parties (sophomores, juniors, seniors - everyone's) and usually if I say something like stop arguing, friends listen. I think what changed is the confidence and sort of leadership. If you're a nerd like me (the hard-working, smart type - not the socially awkward type), then don't think you're separated. Be nice to girls and let other guys know your not socially awkward, participate in different events that people start, and when you say stuff, be confident. The guy who hit you is a ******, I have no tolerance for my friends being hit so I would recommend you just be careful when you're around him. As to being respected, I've always been taught that people can't differentiate between confidence and intelligence, so as long as you sound confident, the people will follow you even if you have no idea what you're doing.

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I'm a senior now and I don't know if I would say I'm respected or not. I'm in the "nerdy" group at our school, none of us like partying so that does not seem to be an issue.

I'm just generally happy that I am friends with these people, and it doesn't matter if I get invited to parties or not (not that there was time to go anyways)

Just stay true to yourself, and yes not everyone will like you, but that is just tough luck for them

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I finished high school last year and am now at university. I can very confidently tell you that once you finish high school your 'social status' means absolutely nothing. You could be the most popular kid in school or the 'weird' kid but once you leave high school that won't matter. When you move on from school you will find people who are similar to you to befriend, and people in general seem to be way less judgemental. So whilst you at school do what you enjoy. Don't not join that club you really want to join because it's apparently uncool. Don't not hang out with that person you like but everyone else thinks is weird. Don't spend your high school life trying to look 'normal' or 'cool' for people who you probably won't ever see again. As for being confident remind yourself how awesome you are and most importantly that you deserve respect. You are not inferior to any of the other kids at your school. Remind yourself that you deserve to be heard, you deserve to be able to walk the corridors and have people more out the way for you rather than always be the one to move out the way for others, you deserve the teacher's attention when you need help. So don't be afraid to demand those things.

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Just remember to be what you are and what you want, do not let someone else change you just because of how they view you. You are special in the way you are and this is what makes you a shining star in the darkness. 

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We all want respect, especially from our friends. Think to yourself what qualities draw people to you and try to improve yourslef in that regard. Once you're able to do this. You'll be much more respected by your peers and the community. 

 

PS - Remember that you not gonna click with everyone, but learn that that's okay and its part of growing up into a mature person.

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it doesn't really matter.

after thinking about my life in general, I realized that a lot of the things I cared about didn't really matter.

of course everyone has their own ways of being happy, but if you can do without them then forget about it.

try to meet people with the same interests as you, it'll help with friends, and you'll get the confidence from talking about stuff that you like and can do.

you'll eventually learn how to be happy in life and forget about irrelevant things.

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I finished high school last year and am now at university. I can very confidently tell you that once you finish high school your 'social status' means absolutely nothing. You could be the most popular kid in school or the 'weird' kid but once you leave high school that won't matter. When you move on from school you will find people who are similar to you to befriend, and people in general seem to be way less judgemental. So whilst you at school do what you enjoy. Don't not join that club you really want to join because it's apparently uncool. Don't not hang out with that person you like but everyone else thinks is weird. Don't spend your high school life trying to look 'normal' or 'cool' for people who you probably won't ever see again. As for being confident remind yourself how awesome you are and most importantly that you deserve respect. You are not inferior to any of the other kids at your school. Remind yourself that you deserve to be heard, you deserve to be able to walk the corridors and have people more out the way for you rather than always be the one to move out the way for others, you deserve the teacher's attention when you need help. So don't be afraid to demand those things.

 

I completely agree with this and that is exactly the philosophy with which I have been doing my IB with. Thanks alot for that post khimberleigh, It's good to know someone else thinks like I do. :)

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I am going through a similar situation, and honestly the best thing to do is be strong and ignore those jokes or comments, and just smile. If they see that they cant hurt you anymore, they will eventually stop and that will give you strength to build up your confidence. Also, something that really worked for me was to find friends outside school, so maybe join some clubs (good CAS opportunity too!) and you will meet people that are more similar to you and who will respect you more. 

Good luck :)

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To be honest don't even worry about being popular...You have your friends, who cares what others think, once you leave high school you will never see half of them again. You have less than a year to go, focus on IB because it's getting towards crunch time. 

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