Help for the Socially Tormented

[princesssar]

Early IB Year 1:

One of my greatest strengths through school has been my ability to be a skilled communicator. I've gotten through many speeches, class discussions, and debates just by winging it. My personality has won over many of my teachers in the past and has probably saved me from some awful papers because I am able to negotiate into  having a second chance or "cut me some slack." On top of it all I am a social butterfly at school I literally do not have a specific group/clique I talk to everything and everybody. This however is looking like my downfall because IB is coming off to be a very individual experience despite the study groups, and group projects. Everyone in my classes are competitive and intelligent, and keeping to themselves. Ultimately, this pushes me in that position as well because now I have nobody to talk to, and I too have to focus "strictly on the books." It's driving me mad, because now I feel on my own with it all and you'd think that this would help me get everything done, but exactly the opposite because I am desperately looking to other kids that are not in IB to keep my interest and often becoming distracted from what really matters.

 

When it comes down to it I am losing my mind because I was used to my vocal outspoken persona getting me through the years. Now, the only good that will do me is "class participation" (not worth a lot if anything anymore) and oral presentations. I am realizing that I have put a hella lot of studying and isolated late night writing to get through this when I thought that IB was going to allow more growth through the social aspect.

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Thrashmaster]

IB is way more social for me than previous years ever were. For a communicator, you should be having a blast!

 

You have tons of presentations in IB, both individual and group. Study groups are a common occurrence too, but you shouldn't need to depend on them to see how IB is about communication. Besides your orals, that 'participation' grade might not be worth a whole lot in terms of your grade, but discussion is endlessly promoted in IB, especially in classes like ToK. You should have plenty of opportunities to express your ideas.

 

If you're talking only about exams, then I suppose it is not a social experience. But if your school is not letting people talk fairly often in class, then I think that's a school problem. The IB loves personal engagement and communication. 

[princesssar]

Thank you very much, I think that it's not so much my teachers but the student I am surrounded with. They are really focused on getting through it, and if anything I am the biggest distraction they want to avoid. But I can't bare the thought of experiencing this incredible journey with just myself, I want to share it with others. I haven't started TOK yet but from the sounds of it makes me excited!

 

Maybe It's a sign that I need to take this loneliness and put it to some use (aka homework)

Just read your little signature, and definitely procrastinating... biggest issue I need to fix!

[Sandwich]

Being the loud kid in your class unfortunately only comes in handy academically for a certain period of time when you're younger. When you get to University, you're pretty much all on your own being lectured in silence, and often your lecturers have no idea whatsoever who you are! So in a way it's actually a good thing to be building up these skills now.

 

My school was also pretty discussion-lite, although I still found it very sociable as I spent most of my lessons just chatting to my friends. Your fellow IB-ers sound a bit up-tight! Maybe you'll find it mellows out a little bit once everyone is in the groove of IB. I would also not worry too much about competitive and intelligent people. Everybody thinks everybody else is that, in my experience! You're intelligent too, and there's no need to be outwardly competitive (as a rule it doesn't make you any friends or do you any favours!) so I think you'll find most people aren't as bad as you think. Being inwardly competitive can be useful as motivation to keep going and get good grades, but I think you'll find the 'competitive' nature of your classmates is just a perception you have based on the fact you see them working hard. They're probably just working for themselves and to keep up - not to be the very best like no-one ever was etc. etc. And don't worry, we all have that perception of others, but at the end of the day people just want to do well and you'll find that only a few people are genuinely "gunners" in that sense.

 

What I would say is that focussing "strictly on the books" is indeed something you need to do, but that you shouldn't view it as opposite to what you're used to doing. For most people, being sociable is equal to not working, and doing book work is equal to working. You've been able to use being sociable as working before, but as the difficulty level goes up and the material changes, winging it is no longer an option. I definitely had that crashing down moment in IB So perhaps just try to separate the two a little bit more in your own head, because there's no reason you can't manage both.

 

Generally people like IB because it is quite sociable - you're in a small group that becomes pretty close-knit due to the various stresses and idiosyncrasies of the course! I hope it warms up for you