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Hi to whoever is reading this, 

 

First off I would like to say that I'm not the sort to express my feelings to anyone, in fact I feel rather strange when someone tries to question me regarding my emotions. But now I am fed up, I really can't deal with this anymore. I know I may sound like a drama queen but to be truthful, my life is stressful, sad, boring, pathetic and the list goes on and on. I love the IB, a lot, but my father hates it. In my opinion he hates everything and everyone, the only thing he cares about is my "grades" and he is basically forcing me to receive the highest score in the IB so I can be a doctor (I don't want to be a doctor, but I try for the sake of him). He is always angry and yelling, I am too scared to even start a conversation with him because I'm afraid I might anger him and when he gets angry (which is basically always) it's scary. He actually beat me really badly a few days ago because I was complaining to my mom about something but he thought I was disrespecting her; he also said some very awful things which I prefer not to mention. He doesn't let me live my life like a normal teenager, for example I'm not permitted to leave the house without him, I am not allowed to go over friends house or hang out with any of my friends out of school, watch movies (unless they're like kiddie movies) or go to the Cinemas, he also has a strict dress code for me, I feel like he wants to hide me from the world because he fearful that I might expose his cruelty and the harsh way he treats me and the rest of the family. Sometimes I just wish I wasn't born or at least born in an household like that where all I ever hear is screaming voices. Since the beginning of high school I have constantly had problems with my school peers because I just didn't seem to fit in, and now since I feel more accepted at school my father makes me feel worthless, he tells me that I'm unappreciative and that really tears me up, I've thought of giving up but then I reassure myself that everything will be fine but now I know that it will never be, as long as he is near me. My mother is also a bit aggressive but that's not the problem I have with her, the only reason I would say my mom causes me stress is the amount of yelling she does, I come home from school and she's there on my face yelling and telling me to do work for her...but I still love her dearly. I am crying right now because I really don't know what to do anymore, my dad really does mentally torture me and I am on the verge of giving up. He always comes to check up on me to see if I'm studying and when I don't he tells me off, he has also seen me on this site and tells me it's a waste of time and I should do something more useful. Right now he's not home so I can type this without having fear that my dad might jump out of no where and see this. 

 

I am extremely sorry for making this too long and I am aware that most of you are very busy with school work but for the people that read this, please...please just give me some advice, I am trying so hard not to give up. 

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It's really hard to say. It kind of depends where you are in the world and what resources are available.. Otherwise, I would say you should think about getting support and help (and maybe protection) from a specialist unit. Getting out of the house is a start, if it is getting too much. Which it sounds like it might be. If you are in the West, then shelters for women and youngsters are readily available and practicable. Easier if you are majority age.

 

If you are in Africa or somewhere in the middle east (patriarchal societies -- OMG sorry, but undeniable) then you may be more restricted in what you can do. But maybe not. Usually there are pockets of support even here, esp. when one half is dominated by the other insecure half.

 

But I know any decision that upsets the status quo can seem risky and extreme.  

 

You may not be able to count on your mother. Only you can try to do something for yourself, and that first step is the hardest. 

Edited by Blackcurrant

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It's really hard to say. It kind of depends where you are in the world and what resources are available.. Otherwise, I would say you should think about getting support and help (and maybe protection) from a specialist unit. Getting out of the house is a start, if it is getting too much. Which it sounds like it might be. If you are in the West, then shelters for women and youngsters are readily available and practicable. Easier if you are majority age.

 

If you are in Africa or somewhere in the middle east (patriarchal societies -- OMG sorry, but undeniable) then you may be more restricted. But maybe not. Usually there is some kind of support when one half is dominated by the insecure other half. 

 

It is YOUR life after all, and you are not living and studying to please your parents. But I know any decision can seem risky and extreme. But that is part of the effect of being beaten into submission. You may not be able to count on your mother. Only you know.

 

I am from a Western country but my parents are very conservative and strict, I've thought about leaving many many times but I'm just too afraid, but thank you for your advice :)  

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It appears your parents are a classic examples of very toxic parents. I am truly, deeply sorry you found yourself in this situation. It seems like not only are they making your life difficult, but also breaking your basic human rights, like the right to privacy. Is your school aware of the fact that you're being treated this way? If not, I'm sure there's some councillor/ head of the year/teacher you trust that you can talk to. Teachers are trained to deal with situations like this and will know where to take this matter to. I know that we are always told that we owe our parents everything and should love and respect them no matter what, but, seriously, that's a pile of bull****. Parents who don't respect and support you, who mentally and physically abuse you, they're not parents, they're bullies. And don't deserve respect. The quicker you get out of your home, the better for you. 

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It appears your parents are a classic examples of very toxic parents. I am truly, deeply sorry you found yourself in this situation. It seems like not only are they making your life difficult, but also breaking your basic human rights, like the right to privacy. Is your school aware of the fact that you're being treated this way? If not, I'm sure there's some councillor/ head of the year/teacher you trust that you can talk to. Teachers are trained to deal with situations like this and will know where to take this matter to. I know that we are always told that we owe our parents everything and should love and respect them no matter what, but, seriously, that's a pile of bull****. Parents who don't respect and support you, who mentally and physically abuse you, they're not parents, they're bullies. And don't deserve respect. The quicker you get out of your home, the better for you. 

 

Thank you very much :) 

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Hi to whoever is reading this, 

 

First off I would like to say that I'm not the sort to express my feelings to anyone, in fact I feel rather strange when someone tries to question me regarding my emotions. But now I am fed up, I really can't deal with this anymore. I know I may sound like a drama queen but to be truthful, my life is stressful, sad, boring, pathetic and the list goes on and on. I love the IB, a lot, but my father hates it. In my opinion he hates everything and everyone, the only thing he cares about is my "grades" and he is basically forcing me to receive the highest score in the IB so I can be a doctor (I don't want to be a doctor, but I try for the sake of him). He is always angry and yelling, I am too scared to even start a conversation with him because I'm afraid I might anger him and when he gets angry (which is basically always) it's scary. He actually beat me really badly a few days ago because I was complaining to my mom about something but he thought I was disrespecting her; he also said some very awful things which I prefer not to mention. He doesn't let me live my life like a normal teenager, for example I'm not permitted to leave the house without him, I am not allowed to go over friends house or hang out with any of my friends out of school, watch movies (unless they're like kiddie movies) or go to the Cinemas, he also has a strict dress code for me, I feel like he wants to hide me from the world because he fearful that I might expose his cruelty and the harsh way he treats me and the rest of the family. Sometimes I just wish I wasn't born or at least born in an household like that where all I ever hear is screaming voices. Since the beginning of high school I have constantly had problems with my school peers because I just didn't seem to fit in, and now since I feel more accepted at school my father makes me feel worthless, he tells me that I'm unappreciative and that really tears me up, I've thought of giving up but then I reassure myself that everything will be fine but now I know that it will never be, as long as he is near me. My mother is also a bit aggressive but that's not the problem I have with her, the only reason I would say my mom causes me stress is the amount of yelling she does, I come home from school and she's there on my face yelling and telling me to do work for her...but I still love her dearly. I am crying right now because I really don't know what to do anymore, my dad really does mentally torture me and I am on the verge of giving up. He always comes to check up on me to see if I'm studying and when I don't he tells me off, he has also seen me on this site and tells me it's a waste of time and I should do something more useful. Right now he's not home so I can type this without having fear that my dad might jump out of no where and see this. 

 

I am extremely sorry for making this too long and I am aware that most of you are very busy with school work but for the people that read this, please...please just give me some advice, I am trying so hard not to give up. 

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