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I'm going to fail the IB.

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Or at least....I am so goddamn scared I'm going to.

 

My Math IA was due tonight and I turned it in but it's so bad. I am so terrified that I will not graduate (or more realistically, I will graduate but without my IB diploma.) I know people who usually say this are people who realistically, are doing much better than they think but that's not me.

 

Seriously, I used to be a good student but I've become this horrible procrastinator to the point where I put off real LEGITIMATE IB-DIPLOMA necessary **** like TOK essay to the day before. 

 

Like ****, my CSS profile I am submitting tomorrow and it was due TWO DAYS AGO. And my dad won't send me to a college that doesn't offer me Financial Aid. 

 

I can't sleep at night because my brain keeps showing me a future where all my friends are at college and my parents are so ****ing disappointed because they've poured THOUSANDS of dollars into my education (I go to a very VERY good international school). I want to cry all the time (and I mean all the time) the smallest things set me off and I just burst into tears.

 

I am so scared. I am so terrified. The words don't do justice to the fear I genuinely feel is constantly choking me. 

 

And I feel like I can't really talk about it with anyone because they'll just go, "Oh Cat...." and be disappointed in me. Since the start of Senior Year, that's all I've done. Disappoint, disappoint, disappoint. 

 

I know it sounds whiny. Like, I have everything I could want and I'm just throwing it away. But I don't know how to deal with any of this. I don't want to fail the IB and I don't want to keep disappointing everyone but I also don't know if I can even do any of this.

 

I feel so alone. My best friend already got accepted into Yale and my other one is like the most responsible person on the universe and ****ing smart as ****. And then there's me: a dumb, lazy person who's ****ing up everything. 

 

What do I do? Does anyone else feel this way? I'm so scared. I am so scared because I feel like I'm the only person who's feeling this in my grade.

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Don't worry I feel the same too. Most of my IA's are pretty crap so to speak. I got a 4 for my math IA which is terrible as I was hoping for a 5/6 and I worked hard on it.

 

The thing is im literally like a 24 right now so I don't think you should feel too bad because I literally did not try for the mocks lol.

 

I am as lazy as anyone can be, but I'm not going to give up for I know I can do it. And so can you.

 

You've got 3 months.. don't think about the time you've got left, do whatever it takes, work your socks off whilst getting enough rest bla bla bla and you can do this.

 

Forget the predicted grades, I applied to the university of my dreams without meeting the entrance requirement, I just checked this morning that my application was not rejected and is still "under consideration" for the time being.

 

You have to believe in yourself and use that fear of failing as a motivation to inspire yourself to do it, I'm in the same situation and I feel like crap too so don't worry too much :P

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The only scary part for me here is that you already have up to an extent. Saying that "you're going to" fail the IBDP scares me A LOT to be honest. You're young, intelligent (don't deny it), and if you're willing to put a lot of work into the next three months then a score of 32+ is not our of your reach.

Also, don't compare yourself to others! That's LITERALLY the worst thing a person can do. Compare looks, outfits, grades, whatever - it's toxic and destructive. There's always someone better and always someone worse than you - that's the fact. Everyone has different measures and not two people in this world are equal in terms of their capabilities. I can use the famous quote here "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."

It's ok to be scared - we all were at one point. Don't let that fear stop you from working hard on your school work - embrace the fear and let it motivate you! (Sounds crazy, but it works - trust me ;) ).

If it gets too much, please talk to someone. As an idividual who was in a similar situation, I can tell you that keeping all these feelings inside is going to destroy you when you reach the breaking point. It can be a teacher, your parents, counsellor, or a professional if you wish. Don't stay quiet about this, please.

When it comes to revision, I cannot help here that much since I'm not in IBDP yet. I know that making flash cards helps a lot, and it tests your abilities of summarisation as well.

Good luck. It'll all be fine :)

Edited by mac117

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Firstly, I think you need to take a deep breath. It's very easy to get caught up in 'what-if' and all the potential things that could happen in your life if x thing doesn't happen right, but thinking about that won't help you. Trust me when I say, your thoughts basically mirror mine of the past few years, as irrational as they were. Yes, the IB diploma is important, but you know what's even more important? Your health, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

 

As mac117 said, comparing yourself to others, whilst an immediate response of humans and something that's very difficult to suppress, is terrible for your emotional wellbeing, because we, as humans, often look at ourselves and put others on an unattainable pedestal, whilst putting themselves down. The most important thing in the case is to go, "Well, I can do as well, I just have a lot going on." It's something that happens to everyone at some point, and I'm certain, whilst it might not seem like it, some of your peers are going to be feeling the same way! Perhaps their situations are different, but there's always a panic when something important comes up, and there are at least a few people that feel that they're going to fail.

 

(Again) like mac117, I'd recommend talking to a counsellor, a teacher you trust, your parents if you feel up to it; let someone know what you're thinking because otherwise no one's going to know that anything's wrong and you'll just stress more. However, I would say this as another piece of advice. This weekend, don't do anything from Friday night to Sunday night. Or, if you have some homework, do that on Friday night and spend the rest of the weekend relaxing.

 

Whilst this may seem like horrible advice from one procrastinator to another, it is so incredibly important to rest - often that's a reason why people procrastinate; they have things to do, but they've been doing so many other things that they procrastinate, then they stress about it which is even more tiring and then they procrastinate because they haven't truly relaxed. So take the weekend to relax and think about your goals and why you want to do this. You want to do it (I presume) because you want your parents to be proud of you, you want to be able to say "Hey, I got through the IB!", you want to feel accomplished, and you want to prove that you're worth it. And you are, we just place unnecessary emphasis on grades which is ridiculous but let's not go there.

 

I recommend taking a piece of paper and writing the reasons for continuing to do IB, to work hard, and what you hope to do from there. Is there this university you'd like to go to one day? Do you want to move somewhere in particular and need a particular job which needs a particular degree? Hell, it could just be so you can smugly say, "I did the IB, and it was hell, but now I'm a veteran." Whatever the reason, write your reason and use it like a motto. Whenever you want to procrastinate, try and think about that - I'd suggest using sensory memory for that, maybe by wearing a watch/bracelet and touching it whenever you think about it, or anything; something that reminds you that you can't afford to procrastinate if you want to reach your goals.

 

Okay, so your IA went badly, your IA is 20% of your grade. Okay, that's a significant amount, but you can make up for that! Boost your grade in the exam - you can do it, you said you were good academically, so you just need to stop procrastinating right? Give yourself one night each week - perhaps Friday night, where you do nothing productive. You watch seven episodes of Game of Thrones, you read a good book, you sleep as soon as you get home, you listen to music, play an instrument - don't do anything productive, just get some you time. Think of it like a refresher period, so you can go, "Okay, I've worked hard during the previous weekend and all school week, this is my reward - time to relax and do nothing important." I'm assuming most of your IAs are done now too, so it's a matter of revision - throw yourself into that revision. Teach other people the content, try flashcards, use past papers, ask for help for things you don't understand - if you can get your final marks up to your goal, then your IAs, whilst they may bring your grade down slightly, will be overshadowed by the exams.

 

Before you do all of that though, sit down and talk to your parents, or some adult you can trust about everything that's bugging you. If you can't talk to them about it, write a letter and leave it for them. You need to get it out, and you need the support of others at this time, and the only way they can help you if they know you need it and you let them. It was great that you posted this here to let out that stress, but we can only help so much. Your parents, your teachers, your friends - they can help you directly, and since you're going to a good school, for the teachers at least, it's part of their job - they're not going to leave you behind emotionally or academic-wise, you just have to let them know you need help. Of course, that's not to say there aren't people on the forum who wouldn't be happy to help - me included - but your parents and teachers have the advantage of immediate contact.

 

You can definitely do it! We're rooting for you (and here to help)!

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to be honest with you here, ive just started ib this year, and im truly scared. dont ask me. ive just started the ib, havent even started on first assessment task. am literally in the first week of my ib. if i complain everyone will say to me that yore just feeling nervous but its not that. in year 10 i was a high achieving guy achieving in 7's and 8's for MYP program. but yesterday, my english HL teacher said that that doesnt change a thing and im gonna be living through a hell of studying and stress over the next 2 years if i want to study HL english. because my school's small, i dont get that much choice over what subject are HL or SL. it all depends on what subjects ive chosen and since ive chosen chemistry SL, i have to do English HL. if my teacher warning me about English HL wasnt bad enough, my chemistry teacher is scaring the hell out of me with his sinister talk of how even if its only chemistry SL, it's still gonna be extremely hard, and itll be hard for me to get the grades. now usually iw ouldnt be so scared. im a overall hardworker and a little naturally smart, so it might seem that yeah, its just a phase that all IB students go through. but when our english teacher wasnt convinced of our fear of HL English, she told us that our past years highest mark in ib HL english is only 4. these guys werent any wash-ups either. the students from last years achieved 7's and 6's all across besides english. one of our students that was one of the only ones in the world to get a 7 in business couple years back only got 4.

 

look, im sorry for telling you all my fears, but the thing is, which ive realised while writing this, is that im gonna stick with my plan. no matter what comes at me, no matter what mighty beast or lurking trap waits in store for me, im gonna brave through it, like a viking ship braving through the storm. im gonna face troubles but ive just got to just stick my feet in the ground until this deadly wind passes, and when ive braved through all the hardships, i have to believe that theres something golden waiting for me at the end of the ib. what im trying to say is, if "me," your junior in this course who has no expeerience is set on holding up no matter what, you HAVE to. dont look at your friends achievements, and whatever else that troubles you. theres 2 things that i do whenever i get a feeling like that. 

1. i look at those more unfortunate than me, and considering im doing IB, theres definetly someone more unfortunate than me. for example: a boy in Africa facing starvation, or a young syrian refugee, now an orphan, facing terrible treatment as he tries to escape to a brighter haven.

2. i remember that as soon as i finish highschool, unless my friends are travelling similar paths as i, i wont see them again after a few years. after uni, im going to forget about them. your friends are going to stay with you for life serving as your own personal dream. dont look down on yourself saying that you cant reach their level. if you try hard, no matter what, youll eventually push through the surface and be above them in no time

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to be honest with you here, ive just started ib this year, and im truly scared. dont ask me. ive just started the ib, havent even started on first assessment task. am literally in the first week of my ib. if i complain everyone will say to me that yore just feeling nervous but its not that. in year 10 i was a high achieving guy achieving in 7's and 8's for MYP program. but yesterday, my english HL teacher said that that doesnt change a thing and im gonna be living through a hell of studying and stress over the next 2 years if i want to study HL english. because my school's small, i dont get that much choice over what subject are HL or SL. it all depends on what subjects ive chosen and since ive chosen chemistry SL, i have to do English HL. if my teacher warning me about English HL wasnt bad enough, my chemistry teacher is scaring the hell out of me with his sinister talk of how even if its only chemistry SL, it's still gonna be extremely hard, and itll be hard for me to get the grades. now usually iw ouldnt be so scared. im a overall hardworker and a little naturally smart, so it might seem that yeah, its just a phase that all IB students go through. but when our english teacher wasnt convinced of our fear of HL English, she told us that our past years highest mark in ib HL english is only 4. these guys werent any wash-ups either. the students from last years achieved 7's and 6's all across besides english. one of our students that was one of the only ones in the world to get a 7 in business couple years back only got 4.

 

look, im sorry for telling you all my fears, but the thing is, which ive realised while writing this, is that im gonna stick with my plan. no matter what comes at me, no matter what mighty beast or lurking trap waits in store for me, im gonna brave through it, like a viking ship braving through the storm. im gonna face troubles but ive just got to just stick my feet in the ground until this deadly wind passes, and when ive braved through all the hardships, i have to believe that theres something golden waiting for me at the end of the ib. what im trying to say is, if "me," your junior in this course who has no expeerience is set on holding up no matter what, you HAVE to. dont look at your friends achievements, and whatever else that troubles you. theres 2 things that i do whenever i get a feeling like that. 

1. i look at those more unfortunate than me, and considering im doing IB, theres definetly someone more unfortunate than me. for example: a boy in Africa facing starvation, or a young syrian refugee, now an orphan, facing terrible treatment as he tries to escape to a brighter haven.

2. i remember that as soon as i finish highschool, unless my friends are travelling similar paths as i, i wont see them again after a few years. after uni, im going to forget about them. your friends are going to stay with you for life serving as your own personal dream. dont look down on yourself saying that you cant reach their level. if you try hard, no matter what, youll eventually push through the surface and be above them in no time

 

An excellent motivation and example to those who are beginning the IB and to those who are preparing for the May 2016 exams which are just in.. 77 days and counting.. as a student stressed for the upcoming exams, this is the exact mindset I need to help me boost myself and make the most out of my remaining time. Thank you for your motivation ^_^

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