Is respect earned or given?

[ShootingStar16]

Hey guys, so I'm interested to hear your opinions on this subject because I always hear from people around me that you should respect your parents no matter what and my family basically has the mindset: respect your elders no matter how they treat you. Do you guys agree with that or do you think respect is something everyone needs to earn? 

 

Personally, I think respect should be earned. Yes you should treat everyone with basic respect, but sometimes if the person is disrespectful towards you I'm just thinking: why should you respect them if they don't respect you? 

[Acterale]

This is a question which depends on the situation and the individuals involved. Right? 

I honestly think there are cultural aspects to "respect your elders" as well, so its different for everyone. I personally will always respect those who are significantly older than me. However I'll have to agree with you with earning respect in the instance that there is someone who isn't significantly older than me, I'm not going to be respectful to someone in their 20s if they're really rude. You could take the moral high-ground with this whole thing and respect everyone, but if you tolerate everyone's worst then everyone will come to know you as someone who can do this. I personally couldn't, haha I'm too short fused with some people. 

[Guest]

I'd say start with respect, regardless of the person. I personally think, when you don't know someone or their circumstances, everyone deserves respect. However, if they give you reason not to, that's when I believe they have to earn it. I mean, there are things you may have to factor in, because some people have things going on that you don't know about and all, but that's when personal lines come in and how different people respond to different things.

There's also the matter of what being respectful is and being the bigger person; being respectful isn't being a pushover, it's about thinking of others' feelings. Sure, you could always bite back and act just as they did, or you could be the one that brushes it off because whatever they're doing doesn't actually matter because who the hell cares about someone who can't be a decent person? Or just keep your mouth shut. I find that's the thing that works for me 

Personally, though, I think that respect, loyalty, all that sort of stuff needs to be earned and even so, it should be used very carefully. Regardless of what my mother says about family sticking together and not pointing out one another's mistakes (still not sure if she's joking about that one), there's a difference between letting someone screw you over for the rest of your life because they're your family or older than you and just being courteous. It's really just circumstantial.

[IB_taking_over]

I feel like there is a different between being respectful and having respect. In my opinion, you ought to be respectful to everyone. Treat them the way you want to be treated,  be the bigger person, the list of cliches goes on. However, I don't think you have to respect everyone you meet. Respect is an earned thing, you find (they give) a reason for you to respect them. Whether that reason is because they are higher on the totem pole than you or you genuinely respect them is another question.

[Sandwich]

IMO respect is automatically assumed, it can only be lost  

You should always offer fellow human beings respect. The kinds of people who behave like you have to 'earn' respect before they'll treat you with any (ie people who think they can be rude to you but expect you to be polite back to them), are ironically on a fast track to losing mine. Baseline of bastardry.