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IB + Corny Science Jokes

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<_< [size=7][b][color="#FF0000"]IB[/color][/b][/size]

The guy on the left would symbolize us. :D

I thought I'd put some corny science jokes here.

PS: You need to have taken Quantum Physics to get the first 2 jokes.
[list]
[*]A quantum physicist walks into a bar. . . maybe.


[*]There is a sign in Munich that says, "Heisenberg might have slept here."


[*]Q: How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.


[*]The Name's Bond, Ionic Bond...


[*]Q: What do you get when you mix Iron, Bromine, Uranium, Argon, and Yttrium?
A: FeBrUArY


[*]Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?
A: Elephant x Grape x sinθ (θ = theta not 8)
This one comes from the cross product of vectors, for those who didn't get the joke. =P


[*]Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a mountain climber?
A: You can't cross a vector and a scaler!


[*]Q: Where does bad light go?
A: To a prism.


[*]Q: What does a molecular biologist and a porn star have in common?
A: They both get paid to remove their genes!


[*]Q: What's the volume of a pizza of thickness a and radius z?
A: pi zz a


[*]Power, Work, and Energy are walking along when suddenly someone walks up and kicks energy. All three fall down in agony.
"Hey!" yells energy, "I'm the one that got hit, not you guys! Why are you moaning?"
"Are you kidding?" Yells Power. "We just got kicked in the Joules!"


[*]Q: What does a chemist do when he sees a fire?
A: He calculates the heat of reaction and synthesizes a suitably endothermic reaction to put it out.


[*]Two protons walk into a bar talking about a mutual friend.
Proton 1: Did you hear that Electron 7 got thrown into orbit and wasn't happy about it?
Proton 2: Yea. Well, he's always been negative.


[*]The Physicist, upon seeing all the waves, gets very excited and runs into the water, disappearing.
The Marine Biologist, aware of tremendous variety of marine life in the ocean, also gets very excited, and runs into the water, disappearing.
The Chemist pulls out her notebook, and writes "The Physicist and the Marine Biologist are soluble in water."


[*]Q: While walking into a lab, how does one know which lab is it?...
A:
- If it's green and wobbly - it's a Biology lab.
- If it stinks - it's a Chemistry lab.
- If it doesn't work - it's a Physics lab.


[*]Q: Did you hear about the Biologist who had twins?
A: She baptized one and kept the other as a control!


[*]Q: What did the receiver say to the radio wave?
A: Ow! That MegaHertz!


[*]Q: What does a sperm do when he meets the egg of his dreams ?
A: He loses his head!


[*]The highest educational degree is actually quite basic. I mean, come on. It's pH D.
pH refers to power of Hydrogen here, for those who didn't get it. =P


[*]Two gases are talking to each other and they see another gas walk by. . .
Gas 1: Man that is the IDEAL gas!
Gas 2: Eww you pvnrt!


[*]I wish I was Adenine so I can be paired with U!


[*]Q: What did the lion do to the particle physicist?
A: It lepton him!


[*]A man is ambling along when he sees a series of resistors lying in his neighbor's garden. Confused, he walks up to his neighbor and asks her about it. She smiles sheepishly and says, "I have a lot of Garden Ohms, I know.


[*]Q: What did one lab rat say to the other?
A: "I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack."


[*]Hydrogen is such a wh*re, it'll bond to anything!
Helium is such a prude.


[*]Around the holidays a favorite carol around the lab is, "Oh chemis-tree, oh chemis-tree."


[*]Knock Knock
Who's there?
Interrupting Coefficient of Friction.
Interrupting Coefficient of Fri..
Mu!


[*]A British fellow walks into a chemists shop, grabs a bottle of Adenosine triPhosphate (ATP) and tells the man at the counter that he'd like to buy it. The man behind the counter rings it up, then holds out his hand. "Alright, that'll be eighty P."
"eighty P" = "ATP" for those who didn't get it =P


[*]Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
A: Pull down its genes.


[*]Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023.
[/list]
My favorite one is the one about the Theoretical Physicists, next come the ones about Quantum Physics (the next two) and the one about the the Physicist and the Marine Biologist running into the water. =P Edited by Anonymouser

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lol I don't really have IB jokes...though my IB experiences are in my signature. Don't know how funny they are, but they show how screwed my brain has become because of it.

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