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Paper 2 English A HL Lit Help


reylancer

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Hey guys! 

I've been doing practice papers during the week and this is the feedback I received from my teacher on select paragraphs:

The inevitability of conflict was forged the very second the human race was granted free will. The clash of opinions, oftentimes tangled with respective egos, has been the cause of death, destruction and disaster but it has also been the birth of literary masterpieces and artful fiction so full of spark and grandeur that it’d be a crime to regard it lesser than reality itself. Without conflict, there is no motivation for change, exploration and resolution. Authors Yann Martel and Richard Bach have recognized this very fact in their works “Life of Pi” and “Jonathan Livingston Seagull”, respectively, and used conflict as a means to breathe life into their works and effectively introduced hidden dynamics in their tales. Mention the genre and take a stand. Also say that you'd be using these books to support your stand.

 Let’s take the bildungsroman “Life of Pi” first and foremost. Pi, the 16 year old boy who parallels himself with the indolent yet content three-toed sloth, begins to explore the boundaries of his courage and beliefs only due to the excruciatingly difficult circumstances he finds himself in. Without the stimulus that the sinking of the Tsimtsum provided, it is highly unlikely that Pi would’ve grown just as much as a person or that he’d have been able to achieve the level of maturity and understanding he emerged with after surviving 227 days at sea. “I killed and skinned as many meerkats as would fit in the locker and on the floor of the lifeboat.” Vegetarian Pi is pushed to kill innocent meerkats, something he would’ve never done if not for the scarcity in his living conditions. The conflict that pushes Pi into a lifeboat with zoo animals helps the author challenge Pi’s core values and morality, and from Pi’s reaction the readers get to realize Piscine for who he really is. This is very narrative.  Write a topic sentence. Appreciate the writer's choices!

a) How do I make it less narrative? I can't for the life of me figure that part out.

b) Topic sentence? What does that mean?

c) How do I appreciate the writer's choices?

 

If you have any other responses to the red text, please reply with those too

Please help, I'm dying here :/

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Hi reylancer,

Time hangs heavy on my hands, esp. Xmas time.  But that means I can spend a little more time browsing thru these forums :) Always fun.

1) There is nothing wrong with narration (someone else may have used the term "description") and it will always form some part of your P2 response, but it should not be the mainstay of your P2. Your teacher is encouraging you to create argument. The first step here is to show how what you are saying links to your thesis. Doing this will make your P2 more argumentative and also more focused.

You have something like a thesis in the last line of your first par., but it is rather vague. What you mean by "hidden dynamics"? 

2) Topic sentence. Having a topic sentence at the start of every paragraph will help to make your writing purposeful and allow your reader to follow the argument. It needn't be at the start of every paragraph, of course. But having a clear statement of purpose at the start of each new paragraph is a good strategy.

To help you along a bit, just ask yourself: "HOw does my second paragraph link to the two main ideas in the last sentence of your first par.?" Take your reader by the hand and lead them down the path of your argument...

3) Appreciate the writer's choices. Your two paragraphs tend to reproduce details from the story and talk in terms of general themes and ideas. What you need to do much more is discuss *HOW* Martel and Bach convey their ideas. Do they use dialogue anywhere? symbols? motifs? imagery? What about tone and mood? HOw about choice of perspective? Does it matter whose point of view we share? Is it always the same one? That sort of thing. 

Argument, argument. That is what the P2 is asking for. YOur writing flows nicely, but your readers are more concerned with a well structured and clear argument. It is quite another kind of writing that is being asked for. 

Tell me if this helps. 

Edited by Blackcurrant
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