Death of a parent during IB...does anybody cares?

[kokola9000]

DISCLAIMER: If this is a sensitive issue for you, please read on at your own responsibility.

So recently, my mother passed away.... I am registered for the 2018 graduating IB batch. My studies obviously haven't been going very well, and unfortunately this term will count towards my predicteds. I haven't been able to focus much on my EE and term IAs (not even IB finals but my school requires them). My family situation sucks (unemployed abusive elder sibling and apathetic/depressed father), and I have recently moved so not many friends either. The IB teachers at my previous school were amazing - 10-20 years of IB teaching veterans - while the teachers at my new school are useless (first time teaching IB) and rely on textbook knowledge only.

I understand that I still have time for the final IB showdown, but I am just really worried my IAs are going to ruin my predicteds. My teachers, as I said previously, are utter garbage. The coordinators are saying that they could pass me off for this term counting in my predicteds, but that was also a maybe. I take HL Maths, Physics, Chemistry and English and then there is SL French B and History. The deal is that I have to teach everything to myself because my teachers are really bad and uncaring. 

I hate my classmates because they're the Asian-competitive type that rejoice if someone does badly, and they're feeling great about me not doing well. My school counsellor is really bad who just tries to reinforce their perspective on others (because they think they're old and know everything and have the absolute word of wisdom and truth spewing from their mouth), and looking for professional help is too expensive and I won't be able to ask for college from my father if I do look for a therapist. I have been feeling deeply unhappy, dissatisfied and frustrated. I know nobody's probably gonna read this either so I don't mind getting it personal....

Maybe I should just dropout and be a beggar or do something worse. I don't know why I am writing this here, but hopefully someone can help. I don't want sappy words of sympathy or encouragement - those are as useless as adding oil to a fire. Someone just give me advice on what to do objectively and something I could actually do with my current state of depression. 

[kokola9000]

EDIT: I noticed the grammar mistake in the title...can anybody remove the s at the end? I can't figure it out....

Thank you.....

[IB`NOT`ez]

It's terrible that you're going through this. I wish I can say more, but even I was of little help when someone important to me lost her parent during the IB.

You know you need to fight through this so I'll be blunt. You damn well need to. Don't put this past behind you - talk to someone, perhaps an aunt or uncle, or the parents of your mother, seeing as your counselor is inept and your immediate family is questionable, and get it out of your system. Just vent out all your frustrations and pain. Then get to planning. You have a summer to get yourself onto a good position for when DP2 starts, and is also a good time to deal with your grief. It shouldn't be something that you'll get over quickly - process your feelings and emotions for two weeks if need be. The pain won't go away after, but you know it yourself that you need to keep moving on forward.

I can be of help with teaching Chemistry HL content if you wish. Again, it's most important to work through your feelings, but also with the understanding that you can't wallow in misery forever, evident by your original post. I empathize with your toxic social environment and if there's anything you'd like to talk about, or someone to talk to, I'm sure there are many in this forums community that will be happy to help.

Edit: I realized how vague my advice sounded, about the planning. If you'd like, shoot me a PM and I'll give you a detailed rundown of what you to put yourself at a much more favorable position during the summer. Also seeing as you're taking 4 HLs, I'm going to suggest you drop one of them down. If they're directly related to career aspirations or university requirements, then clearly English HL is to be dropped - or you can instead drop the HL that you're doing least well in. Given your circumstances, your statement that your studies haven't been going well in the first place, as well as the poor quality of your teachers, there is no reason whatsoever for you to be saddling yourself with more than necessary workload.

Edited June 2, 2017 by IB`NOT`ez

[agncsw]

This seriously sounds so terrible. I lost my dad when I was 10 years old and I was not even doing anything near the difficulty of the IB yet I found it so hard to focus on my academics for a period of time. What I can suggest is reconnect with your family, I used to have friends like that. If you are religious, get some spiritual help; it can seriously help your mental help. Talk to someone you can trust: because in times like this, you would need people who you know will always have your back no matter what grades you'll get.

And I keep on telling this to myself: bad grades are not the end of the world, it's just the whole process. Allow yourself to fail, and fail as hard as you can while your failures do not have fatal impacts on communities surrounding you. Always focus on what's greater in the future and always keep on fighting, because no matter what you're going through right now, you have to provide support for your future self, something your future self will thank you for. And I certainly can say that I thank my past self for learning harder and harder each day to numb the pain so that now, not only am I doing the IB and doing well but also a fine pianist for my age. And that I am way closer to my goals than I could ever be.

Always know your life purpose and keep on fighting.

Good luck, I am in the same badge as you are and if you need my help on Maths, Physics or English (I'm doing A Lit... So, I'm not sure which English A you're doing but...) I wish you all the best and condolences...

[Jess Carter]

I have the same situation (not parents wise or family wise but I have the same issues with new teachers). I would suggest that you email and contact the teachers from your old school. I would also suggest that you find different areas to work on school stuff in. Not only a library or your room but try studying in different places, this could help you get away from distractions and focus.

I would also suggest that you use YouTube for academic videos and maybe KhanAcademy as well, it has more than just maths. I know how much personal situations mess up tests and stuff but I know it is possible to do it on your own. I passed my IGCSE's by self studying combined science, mathematics, English, German, geography and economics. Also, with motivation, managed to take Dutch and French exams without having taken the courses and passing with A*s.

This isn't to brag or anything of the sort, it is just reassurance that it is possible!

You can do this! 

[Acamar]

I can't pretend to understand what you're going through. 

But I know it is possible to teach yourself most of the sciences through textbooks, study guides, past papers and online resources quite effectively. IBOReddit has excellent resources (everything I mentioned, multiple versions, all years).

Honestly, I find that for some subjects, the only purpose of having a teacher was being forced to consistently do work and having someone to answer questions. (Maybe it's just my teacher). Motivation and the internet can make up for crappy lessons.

As you can see, a lot of people care here. Hopefully you can find something of use on this forum or somewhere else.

Good luck...