HELP - Review my Extended Essay Interim Reflection (I need to make it shorter!)

[hamburgertheplant]

Hi everyone,

I am currently about to post my second reflection for my extended essay, and I wanted to get some feedback before I uploaded it.

My RQ is "What is the effect of the exchange of ligands in the electrolyte on the Electrode Potential in a voltaic cell?"

 

After preliminary testing of my original Research Question, I decided to change it. I found that originally, it was too broad, the methodology too complex, and the original experiment was a failure; it did not yield enough results. In response to this challenge, I developed a different RQ, which was far more successful, and I feel that I have developed a greater interest in this topic. Another challenge I faced, is finding secondary data because my methodology is quite unique. I have to take greater initiative to find authentic and reliable sources, which is something I discussed with my supervisor, so I will be looking at alternative resources available in our Chemistry department, such as other syllabuses and data books. I have also made progress with regards to my understanding of the RQ, and this will help me as I finish writing my Essay.

 

Word count is 144 because in my first reflection I went 6 words over, so to keep it at 300 words total this one has to be a little shorter!

Do let me know if this is "IB-y" enough, or if it has enough reflection, and any ideas on how to reduce the word count would be appreciated (so I can add more reflective statements)

Thanks!!

[ImAcatnow]

You could change some words or remove them completely.

e.g. "preliminary testing of" "initially testing", remove "originally" add a full stop after complex, start the next sentence with The, 

8 hours ago, hamburgertheplant said:

I developed a different RQ, which was far more successful, and I feel that I have developed a greater interest in this topic.

to I developed a different RQ which I developed a greater interest in.

That should cut down a few words.

If you could, you should keep what you have right now because it is very IB and shows that you are very engaged.