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You know you are in IB when...

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YOU KNOW YOU ARE IB WHEN.....

You And Reality file for divorce.

You have great revelations concerning Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow fades, leaving you more confused than before.

You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row about it, lose, and refuse to talk to yourself for the rest of the day.

Five words: "WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?!?!?!?!?"

You can spell "Baccalaureate".

"I.B., therefore I B.S."

"Friends" and "fellow IBers" are interchangeable.

You've fooled yourself into believing that colleges actually care whether you're in IB or not.

You frequently catch yourself saying "What?? We had homework??"

You manage to complete a semesters worth of homework the day before the term ends.

Your books weigh more than you do.

Your thesis for the Extended Essay is whether or not Bert and Ernie are gay.

Your alternate thesis for the Extended Essay is why IB jokes/checklists are so prolific and the amount of fact contained within them.

You plead insanity on a research paper.

Your plea is accepted by your teacher.

Your backpack is only comfortable when it weighs >30 pounds.

Your home becomes a "home away from home".

You actually worry about the 105% you have in math.

You find that you overreact when you get 2 points marked off on your homework.

You find yourself spelling words out on scantrons. You are deeply saddened when you can only find one letter of "IB SUCKS!"

The bags under your eyes are heavier than the ones carrying your textbooks.

You actually put the apostrophe in front of the word "'cause."

Your brain is so overloaded that you forget the simplest things.

You hold "parties" to study.

You look forward to your parties.

Your fellow IBers look forward to your parties, attend them, and do actual studying there.

You feel guilty if you go more than a week without homework or some form of schooling.

Your Theory of Knowledge class has you seriously thinking if Hitler was justified in killing those 6 million Jews.

You spell "am" wrong

You brag that you only got 2 hours of sleep last night

You look forward to arguing

You realize the IB drop outs are smarter than you are (they are???)

Your main addiction is to sleep...and you're always experiencing withdrawal.

You spend entirely to much time complaining about the work and work load, and probably more time complaining than actually working

You know the governments of other countries better than you do the US's

If you aren't stressed out, something is wrong

You KNOW our school is run by monkeys, and the incompetent administrators are just there to put on a face for the parents

You have mastered the art of proving the teacher wrong

You have mastered the art of getting extra points on a test or quiz

You have mastered getting the teacher to postpone an assignment via complaining, claiming that you have another major project, etc.

You scrutinize every question you get wrong on a test or quiz just to make sure it's really wrong... even if you already have an A on the test or quiz.

Your teachers love you but hate you at the same time

You aren't stressing over SATs, your putting that energy into IB and AP tests

You can improvise a rebuttal to anything and have it make complete sense even if it's total B.S.

You have a panic attack a day

You are so accustomed to being stressed, that when you aren't, you have a panic attack

You're first questions on the first day of classes are "What is your policy on late work?" and "Do you give extra credit?"

When on a easy night you wonder endlessly if theres some sort of essay you're missing

When Sparknotes, Pink Monkey, and Quoteland become your best friends

YOU HAVE YOUR MATH TEACHERS HOME PHONE NUMBER BECAUSE HER CLASS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! >.<

I swear sooo true!!!!

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Those are good, but you missed a big one:

When the first question you ask after your teacher gives you an assignment is "Is this for marks?" followed shortly by "Ok, but how many marks is it worth?"

At least, that's how it is at our school. >.<

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hehe, and all the lame stuff like "You can type 150 words per minute... on a TI 84 Plus"

Oh yeah, and other stuff like "When you watch a movie all you worry about is the imagery used"

Edited by Dooga

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Guest Mr Canada

when you feel bored when you run out of homework.

I've had the most BOOOOORING day. No homework, for once, and nothing to do.

Edited by Mr Canada

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like, if i dont get HW for a long time, i would think something has to be wrong..

Story of my life.

One weekend there was literally no homework to do.

But then I was like, hmm maybe I'm forgetting something!

So I msged everyone online at the time asking what we had to do.

And then had a major panic attack because I was ACTUALLY allowed to be doing NOTHING.

Total freak out much?

Mhmm.

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LOL, I definitely agree with the parties thing... IB study/IA parties rule!

BTW, when do you people not have homework? That hasn't happened to me for like 3 years now :sadnod:

When the night before math assessments are due you are dreaming in x's and i's and square roots and have a dream where you find the answer, wake up really excited and then realize it is completely bogus. :lol:

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You know you are in IB when...

- cheating has become too hard.

:rolleyes:

Cheating has become too hard *morally*. It's easy to ACTUALLY cheat if you have the intent, since most of the teachers trust us. But none of us would ever cheat even if the teacher wasn't here during the test...

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Five words: "WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?!?!?!?!?"

True. :innocent:

Your books weigh more than you do.

Believe me, that's soo true. :rolleyes:

If you aren't stressed out, something is wrong

Yup!

You are so accustomed to being stressed, that when you aren't, you have a panic attack. You have a panic attack a day

Make that an hour.

When Sparknotes, Pink Monkey, and Quoteland become your best friends

Don't forget IB Survival. :P

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Guest PollyPeptide

Haha those "You know you're.. when..." things always make me laugh.

Now, this one is from real life.

You know you're in IB when you try to say "vacation" twice and end up saying "test" both times.

(This makes more sense in Swedish >.<)

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36 Things To Do In An Exam When You Know You're Going To Fail It Anyways!

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E...."

34. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

Edited by a.barghuthi

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