Feeling Discouraged--ALL of my friends are dropping IB?

[Montressor]

Hi everyone,

Today was the day where we finally registered for our upcoming exams in May, and now everyone around me is considering dropping Full IB into Partial IB, or no IB courses at all...the final deadline to register exams is the end of October, where everyone's saying it's the day where "we all sign our lives away."

I've got a bit of a unique background--I was originally in Partial IB last year but I put myself back in Full this fall, all caught up with everyone else in the game (The only thing I dropped was French). The same friends who supported me back in full are now considering to drop to partial themselves.

I don't know...really it's their lives, not mine. I don't want to drop Full IB for a second time, I'd just be embarassing myself. I WANT to be a part of this program, I want to have a diploma. Like most people, I've had a terrible junior high and high school life and earning this diploma will make me feel so proud of myself. Having a year hanging in Partial IB showed me that it's really not so bad after all, and even with a couple more courses to do this year I feel like I'm doing alright.

I guess whatever point or question I'm trying to ask is...when you're feeling discouraged in your courses, stuck in your life's direction, stuck in your room studying constantly, what do you do? I'm not sure if I can go through this diploma thing alone...I have a handful of good friends but my social life isn't very active anyways...my teachers are always there for me but that kinda weird, lol.

Haha sorry, thanks for taking the time to read this.

[sweetnsimple786]

Aww.

Don't take this negatively, but I think it's the people you work with who help you when you're down. From what you've said, I get the feeling that some of them may really change from doing "full IB," but many of them won't--they just need an outlet for the stress that's built up. Kinda like how it's nice to talk about buying something you can't afford but never following through because it's not practical. And I may be wrong, but that's what I've experienced with my friends. One more thing, if some of your friends do drop out, then the people who you don't talk with as much will be more influential in your life. You'll still have your old friends, who seem very supportive, but you'll probably gain new ones.

My advice is if you feel like you're constantly studying, stop! Goof off for an hour and then come back, provided that you can deal with the consequences. If you don't understand the material, then it seems like that break can harm more than it can help, but being a study-work-stress machine isn't too effective. Also, if you have a test coming up in, let's say, history, then talk to some classmates and divide the work when you're reviewing in-depth. Quiz each other. Read over the material yourself, but don't feel like you have to memorize it all.

Also, get a change of scenery. Start studying at the school or local library. And try not to get distracted

Good luck =)

[Sandwich]

Well the whole situation sounds to me very unfortunate - whilst I'd love to be able to say that you ought not to care about what your friends think, it'd be ridiculous to pretend that, especially in quite an intense community environment like the IB, their actions are irrelevant. It's important to have people around you to support you and vice versa. However it also sounds to me as if you're not necessarily losing that -- if some of them are going into what you call partial-IB (which I assume would be certificates, not that they seem to be worth much, in the UK at least!) you're not going to lose them from some of your lessons. As in, it's not going to be just you. At the end of the day you'll still have people around - you're not going to be suddenly stranded by yourself, and that's the most important thing.

Honestly, unless it's going to make your life a living hell (and if you have some friends left around, it'll come close but hopefully not smack through the barrier!) there's no sense in NOT getting the diploma. It's the smart thing to do, especially if you've actually been having all the lessons and gained all the knowledge to take the full set of examinations. As you say, you've already moved back up so it'd be a bit silly to move up and then move down again.

The best way to get yourself through something like the IB is to work hard (which you obviously are) and have at least one person to ring up and rant to. If all else fails, this site is probably a pretty smart place to vent the IBO evils. What got me (and gets most people, I believe) through the IB was my friends. They don't have to be taking all the same courses or exactly the same version of something (one of my most helpful friends didn't take IB at all) to understand the IB nightmare!

Finally I'd like to add that you might be surprised by what people do in the end, especially if you try and persuade them. People who've put in all the effort to prepare to potentially take the full diploma will always have that nagging doubt that they're basically wasting all they've done, so I wouldn't take at face value everything people say about dropping down. At the end of the day, it's detrimental to them in many respects to drop out, so whilst some will, I wouldn't be surprised if a small portion couldn't bring themselves to do it

[Montressor]

Thank you, thank you so much for your input both of you, it's all very much appreciated.

And yes, "Partial IB" refers to students who will be recieving Certificates instead of the Diploma.

This week was a good week in terms of assignments--I got some tests back and I was satisfied with the marks I recieved. Last week however, I recieved one or two really bad marks even after basically locking myself up in my room to study for them, and it just broke me...I'm quite the emotional person (An asset to have in IB English but a curse when dealing with everything else) and when I broke down in front of my friends, instead of comfort they just shrugged and tried to convince me how "useless" it was for me to stay in this Diploma program.

And it doesn't make any sense...these were the same people who told me not to be afraid at first of the program. School's only been in session for a month and a half now and even in the beginning I felt so paranoid that my friends were trying to avoid me or something...(like I knew we were all busy with our lives but does it also mean that you can't even just talk to me for five minutes?)

My only source of inspiration is my older brother. He graduated with an IB Diploma in 2008, near-perfect score, and now he studies Neuroscience in another country. He wasn't deprived of a social life either; he grabbed major roles in school plays, went on international student conferences and still had time to party with friends. He used to be so mean to me growing up but a year away from home changed him, and he's very supportive of me through this. He tells me that "it's not THAT hard" and that there was no use to me being in "Full IB minus one" referring to the one French course I dropped.

Please do tell me, what has your life been like after completing IB? What is University life like? How has being a diploma student against a certificate student benefited you? It seems so far away but for me the fact that it's already October 16 makes me feel like this year is just going to fly by...how were the IB exams?

In a way, taking Partial IB at first has given me some tiny advantages--I had time to complete all my CAS hours, join a bunch of sports teams and meet many new friends. I've met two new friends in my TOK class that also share the same dream as me; we all like the challenge IB gives us and we've promised each other that we will not drop it like everyone else. Haha, I should probably just drop all of these negative friends and stick with these new ones then...

It won't make my life a living hell if my friends drop...I'll just be lonely. I'm scared of loneliness...as if I don't already spend all of my free time at school studying in the library between classes or talking to teachers, trying to busy myself instead of moping. But thank you so much for your words. In the end I want to graduate with the academic advantage, and I can't think of anything else that would make me feel any prouder. I feel like if I drop, I'm letting everyone in my life who has ever thought or told me I was worthless win...I don't know about you but I'm one of the only kids in my school who wasn't pushed into this program by my parents

Thanks

[sweetnsimple786]

About your negative friends--they're seeing the world through a different filter right now. It may be temporary, or it may be permanent. I don't advise you to harbor ill will against them unless and until they don't change their attitudes for a few months and can't seem to support you. But do be wary that their advice might not be the most logical because they're going through a tough time too. Disillusionment is never fun.

Good job on the new tests. =) And yeah, I know what you mean about the bad ones. That's where other people really come in handy. Call up the new friends to ask for help or even ask for concept help here if your teacher just doesn't make it click for a particular topic.

I'm still in my last year of IB, so I don't have much to say on the post-graduate thing.

Can you join an organization or be part of an activity? You don't have to worry about the CAS, but you can continue an activity that you used for your hours if you enjoyed it. It's less time to study, but it's important. You know the saying "Youth is wasted on the young"? Lessen the possible regrets =) Ask your bro about something that you had in common. Start volunteering somewhere nearby if you can. Go to a rink to practice roller blading or skating or something with interested people.

And good luck. I really hope you're happy with your results because to me, they're what you make them, and you should never believe that your brother sets standards for you because that's your job